I really hate the phrase "righty tighty, lefty loosey." It doesn't make any sense! It's supposed to tell you which way to turn screws to tighten or loosen them, but it completely ignores orientation. If you turn the top of a screw to the right, relative to the center, you turn the bottom to the left. Which side are we supposed to be oriented to? ( Read more... )

Which is a bad idea at a time like this! But what the hell ( Read more... )

It's in case there's an emergency early the next morning and I'm not yet awake. For instance, if my mom calls and is all like, "Your grandma died," I don't want to have my phone off. Or if some job dude calls and is like, "Can you come in for an interview?" I don't want to have my phone off ( Read more... )

So I was thinking. There are really only a handful of songs in the whole world you can listen to without looking like a tool. These few songs will make you look transcendently cool, while all the others make you look like a whore for a genre, style, aesthetic, or whatever else. Since almost all music has a genre, there's no way to avoid it. ( ( Read more... )

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I saw Bomb the Music Industry! in DC even though I had horrible food poisoning and had been vomiting all day and felt like absolute shit.

Totally worth it.

P.S. The makeout fairy finally answered my wishes.

Bubble makers are the most awesome devices ever created.

Also: I'm home! I am going to hang out with my niece and nephew, and it will be awesome.

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Q: Is there no end to my drunken bitterness?

A: No, no there is not.

Last night a drunk dude tried to hook me up with a woman who is 12 years older than I am and writes for The Economist. Life is funny.

Last night I dreamt that Kurt Russell, looking much like he did in Grindhouse, got hit by a drunk-driving high-schooler. His body was destroyed, and scientists had to reconstruct his torso using blocks of ice. For limbs, they attached large sausages stuffed with bone. His eyes were missing too, for some reason, so they replaced them with pure white ( Read more... )

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