I wish I knew how to make drugs out of poppies.  Then we could have a conversation like this:

"Do you have any idea what happened to my poppies?"

"What poppies?"

"Why is your nose so itchy?"

"It's because of this, um..."

"Wake up!"

I like being able to just get up, and go get a mouthful of mozzarella.  It makes everything okay.  There's no crisis too big.

"Calm down, man.  We're just waiting for this mozzarella to process.  Everything is under control." 

i'm typing it up; i'll spread it around ( Read more... )

More than a year.  Really. 
Maybe too preoccupied with those breasts that jiggle...

Well I am here again.  I wonder if anyone else still is.  I want to call him a close friend, but maybe I'm assuming too much.  I can be sure that I'm correct in calling him a dear friend, and he's the one to thank/scorn for inspiring me to get back at writing.  I ( Read more... )

The pretty girls don't just laugh and smile for me because they want to see what else I can do.  I think that deep down they know I have a higher purpose in mind.  A knowing grin on the face of a beautiful woman increases the total amount of beauty in the universe.  Sure, she knows she's beautiful, and being reminded is just going to help her strut ( Read more... )

You may have heard me say before that Buffalo police are the most dangerous drivers on our roads.  I often support this theory with a statistic borne of personal experience: I have had more than twice as many close calls with police cars than with the second most dangerous group, which is people talking on a phone while they drive.  People who use ( Read more... )

I got to ride my bike in the snow today for the first time this year. 

If I've ever seen more beautiful clouds in the dead of night, bouncing moonrays off the edges to show the roundness of all the puffs, I was more twisted than I am tonight.  The autumn air with all the bite of the smell of cooking bacon and none of the heaviness, and the whole thing hanging so much lower than it ever does any other time of the year ( Read more... )

Plans ( Read more... )

post a comment and I shall ( Read more... )