I've always wanted a baby more than anything, but thank god that pregnancy test was negative. I need to fix myself before letting a child into this world. I would be a terrible mother right now.

I don't know what's happening between me and one of my closest friends. Things are not as it used to at all. We don't talk deep conversations and we don't really listen to one another.. it's just negativity, irritation in the air..and we used to be so comfortable and having good times only. hm! Now I'm just waiting for our first big fight. we might ( Read more... )

In this country way up in the north, it's hard being ugly when most women are drop dead gorgeous. I am one of the ugly ones, at least here in Norway. So I have to work harder to get attention in every kind of way. In the long run it's just too damn exhausting. Nothing and I mean absolutely NOTHING comes for free when you're ugly. Too bad my ( Read more... )

I don't have a father. He died 4 years ago... Not that he was much of a father anyway, but at least he spent time with me. Don't know if that's a good or a bad thing because in one way I really do think I would be better off without him in my life. Actually I know for sure he has brought me more damage than strenght in most ways. Well, I have good ( Read more... )

I bought this red coat today with black buttons! I swear it was screaming my name that gorgeous thing. Too bad it happened to be at the most expensive store this city has to offer.. Now I don't have enough money for food. Brilliant! Just brilliant:p

For once in my life, I actually have a luxury problem. Two guys have asked me out, and still I've not given a clear answer to either of them because I can't decide which one of them I like the most ( Read more... )

Times are changing. It's been a while since the last time I wrote something here. I've almost recovered and I'm still in school:) But just almost. My mind is not quite right yet, and I'm sad for no reason like dayly. I'm much healthier at least. I've gained a lot of weight and of course I find that difficult, but I now understand why that was ( Read more... )

Anorexic and bulimics are everywhere. Especially at the gym I'm attending. Those who are extremely thin always get my attention...or everyones attention. They're so week and fragile. They can't follow up a regular cardio class, still they often take two of them in a row. You can see they're out of energy from the very start. Nobody seems do do ( Read more... )

Once i think I'm doing better, reality always comes sneaking up on me punching me in the face ( Read more... )

My aunt knows about my purging. I'm so stupid! The thing is she's a dentist and she got to check my teeth this weekend. Why? Because I really did think that the damage on them wouldn't proof I'd been purging on purpose like I have been the last couple of years. My teeth are damaged from the acid she told me, but she's seen worse. I don't know what ( Read more... )