my eyes can't reach ( Read more... )

I have a voice again. It's not a totally new voice, it's one I already know. It's one that came to in 2002, I think, during my first stay in the hospital. She's very pretty, for a girl. But she's also quite spoiled. She has tons of money, but has to live on her own in a flat somewhere in London. One day I saw her while she was playing with a colt ( Read more... )

another waste of time ( Read more... )

I think I'm close to another breakthru ( Read more... )

I still have this instant optimism when I have an issue and then want to write about it. That somehow this way I could reason for real, reason with a force that would penetrate or envelop what is hostile, what is antagonistic, and would quench the fires obstructing my path ( Read more... )

I'm thinking a bit of a photo my niece showed me on the last weekend. It had a woman on it, or rather a girl that is just becoming a woman. One of those that always were scrawny, with a monkey ass. One of those that are in bloom now, getting breats and hips, meat on their bones and a face that doesn't look like inbetween anymore, like inbetween ( Read more... )

It's quite a wonderful november here in Dresden. An unusually bright november. When I look out of my window I can even see some bushes that still have green leafes. This isn't one of the weak autumns, this autumn is very strong and present. A poet's autumn, when the poet is interested in beauty ( Read more... )

The last weeks were tough, but satisfying. I won a number of battles, majorly those with my self. I lost a few others, but I don't really care, except for the battles I lost against myself.

One thing I am seriously doubting now is the possibility of leading people to Christ. It seems pointless. There is this thick wall of reasoning. There is ( Read more... )

isn't it always so easy to start loving what is forbidden ( Read more... )

when it births
someone announces its death
when it comes
it is said to leave
when it reigns
it is said to betray

when it seems to disappear behind the clouds
some know it shines in their heart now
the others don't know where it went

oh can you see the star of silvery light?