right. going back to friend's only now ://

i can remember times when i've cried
so hard, but i feel like it was all pointless
now.

you guys, i want to write poetry again so bad. SO BAD. alsdkfj;aosifj;e

today is a bad day.  i'm so fucking worked up/stressed out, i'm making myself sick.

my spine is clean white
bone, like solid milk-
nourishment i know

you need. my spine
is a hollowed out tunnel
under flesh, a secret
passageway. i'd let you in

if you meant what you
said, but the words fell
like rocks from your
mouth- hard and ugly

(there are mountains in
my mind and you are
on the other side; i
keep climbing).

sometimes, i lie down
next to ( Read more... )

i don't sleep anymore.

drove out to mqt today to look at the apartment.  the floors were hell but he said the carpet was being replaced tomorrow.  other than that, it's an upstairs 2 bedroom on a hill.  there's lots of parking space & the apartment itself was pretty big with lots of windows & a view of the lake.  it has a washer/dryer hookup so if ( Read more... )

I am anxious as hell right now. all of a sudden, I am terrified of moving. & it's that easy to slip back into that feeling? like I can't breathe. but I am, I am.

so, my mood goes up by about 39823983 points when i actually wake up & do shit.  i did my hair & put on some makeup. went to a bbq with the boy's family at sherman park.  then we hit up walmart & then rented Kick Ass which i am going to watch later & stuff my face with cotton candy :D

anyways, we called this place about an apartment...2 bedroom, ( Read more... )

R. is done with work now too, he at least has a job to start once we move.  i've applied more places online & still nothing.  we've been calling apartments & we figure we might have to go with a 2 bedroom place since all the one bedrooms are taken.  that means it's going to be more expensive.

i really hate not working.  i wake up at 3 in the ( Read more... )

i miss this place. i miss all the people i used to know here. i never write down anything anymore, & that makes me sad.

i'm in the process of trying to change cities & every apartment i look at, someone else rents.  i don't have a place to live, i can't find a job & school starts in two weeks. i'm stressing out like never before.  i prettymuch feel ( Read more... )

heart-shaped bruises &
i need to shave my legs.
i'm sick again in the summer-
time. days fading slowly,
the heat crushing us.