I woke up today.  I ate breakfast, I brushed my teeth, and I showered.  I left the house to go to work, but got stuck in traffic on the way.  The line of cars in front of me was long, so I reached down to change the radio station.  As I turned the dial on the stereo, I woke up ( Read more... )

somehow or another I always manage to find a way to fuck things up.
reaching that pinnacle of happiness just...it doesn't last.  and i'm always the reason.

well damn.  It's been pretty goddamn busy the last few weeks, and I think I'm in for just one more time crunch before summer hits...

not that it really means much, though, i assume, as I am going to be taking summer school.  PHIL245 here I come!  that and working.  
I do think that this is probably one of the least depressed entries I'll make all ( Read more... )

oh no.
not another one of these fucking mood swings.

not a goddamn thing would make me feel any better, any less worthless.
i don't need someone to talk to, and i don't need something to keep my mind occupied.
i need medication.

It's not because I have no map that i'm so lost, so confused.
it's because i have no destination.

sometimes...

• your regrets overpower your hopes.
• self loathing is only the beginning.
• the path forward gets steeper
• you'll climb to the top, just to jump off.

so many goddamn things make me miss her so much.

i need to leave...i think it's a need. if it's just a want, it's awful strong, and i'm not sure how to control it. everyone has spells like this, right? times when you need to escape your life for just a little while ( Read more... )

mou jikkan da yo ne ( Read more... )

i think i should cut back on the self-chatter. it's like i'm preparing myself for conversations i'll never have. easier than writing it in a true journal, i suppose, but i must look crazy to those passing by ( Read more... )