Reflections on the Twelve Days of Christmas

[tazira]

Because I've heard the song roughly thirty times since October, I find myself reflecting on the Twelve Days of Christmas. And wondering what the fuck my true love was thinking, when it came to some of those presents

Comments

[fala_redwing]

I don't think you'd want the return receipts anyway - the birds already shat them out, and I'm not reaching up THAT cavity to get the rest.

;)

[tazira]

No, no, that's okay. Milk on. Leap on. You just keep on doing what you're doing, right there.

[fala_redwing]

*grins*

[sharrainchains]

::giggle:: Thank you!

I do have an idea for you: tent a hall and some chairs and sell tickets to your own Christmas Revels. Get some use out of those gifts - and put a sign up for a raffle so that people can "win" the right to own - I mean have! - them (for their own parties/revels? over the course of the next year).

[tazira]

Rent-a-Lord!

Curse it, that's an actually good idea...

[sharrainchains]

And just imagine the cast-parties... BTW, did the gifts happen to come with someone like that little guy who used to sweep up at the end of the Rocky and Bullwinkle show?

[tommx]

http://www.dezert-rose.com/humor/christmas/12daysreply.html

And really, don't you pretty much always wind up with 12 Lords a' Leaping whenever there's a 'Rudes party? So what if none of us are actual lords or wearing pants. We're still leaping!

[badmagic]

It was the first days of Christmas that did it for me. Geese a-laying, swans a-swimming, french hens, turtle doves, and every day another damn partridge. The air in my apartment was about six parts feathers to one part oxygen. And I still haven't gotten all the stains out of the carpet.

That Truelove characer had some sort of sick bird fixation, and I want no part of it.

[tazira]

God, that's right, Mr. Truelove isn't just giving you these gifts once. He's giving them to you again and again EVERY DAY FOR TWELVE DAYS, along with a new exercise in strange you're also going to be seeing until the long torture period of gift giving has ended.

*unwrapping*

*with a frozen smile* "Oh, look, ten MORE leaping lords! Oh, I've been needing those for my living room! Thank you, honey!"

[nminusone]

The popular version of the song is abridged; it omits Day Zero's gift - a Tardis mod for your hall closet. Room to spare!

[leiacat]

It must be hard to unwrap a leaping lord, him not keeping terribly still through the process and all.

[chickenhat]

oh, wait... WAITaminute...

Disregarding the Wiki entry that explains the French versions versus the English versions versus Scottish, etc...

Seriously? It's a sex metaphor. Must be. Why else would there be 364 items on a list and 365 days in the year? And this is us, so I'm pretty sure we can figure this out.

The hens? Zhey are French, non?
Geese-a-laying? Yup.
Golden, um, rings? It's a choice.
Maids a milking? Aw, yeah...
Pipers piping? Figure that's for the slash crowd.
Drummers drumming? What else runs on batteries and goes "b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b"?

So, Lords a Leaping? I think you can figure that one out.
(Also, 10 of them? Whether you're taking length or repetition that's not too shabby.)

That's right, yet another delightful XXXmas song ruined by our smutty little minds. My work here is done.

[sharrainchains]

I am impressed: someone who can take something even deeper into the gutter than I can. Oooh: do I get to pass on the title of "Crassest one of all?!"

[tazira]

Eight maids-a-milking, your tip for the day is, milk the bull. You'll have a friend for life.

[sharrainchains]

"Melrose: for--giiiive me!"