I feel like I’m stuck in quicksand and the only place for me to go is lower and lower. Each piece of sand represents the pieces of my heart; unable to be held in the hand, seeping through the cracks of my fingers bit by bit. I’m broken.

I learned the other night that he had been sleeping with someone else throughout the end of our relationship. I ( Read more... )

Dear Assholes of my Friends list,

Hi. If you do not like my 'long ass entries' please do me a fucking favour and remove me. If you have me on some sort of filter because you don't want to see them, remove me as well. It's that simple ( Read more... )

He held me last night as I cried, just as he had many nights before. This time was different though, this time I knew he was sincere. He didn’t want me to cry, he didn’t want me to not want this, and I knew he wanted to take all of it away, but the choice he made had to stay. It was over. I really didn’t know what to do or say as he spoke the words ( Read more... )

My musical guru and otherwise annoyingly compulsive friend, Ann, who sometimes acts as my manager, gave me a call a few days ago. A European label based in London is very interested in hearing my 'demo' when it is completed. I offered to send them the last CD I released (which was a live bootleg of a New York show), against Ann's advice, and they ( Read more... )

"The arctic surrounded my cold wooden room.
I don't think I've ever felt so warm"I could still remember the exact moment this photo was taken. She walked down the stairs, long, winding, splashed with the colour of dark cherry oak. I told her to pause as I slipped the camera from my messenger bag and snapped a photo of her, the one I held in my ( Read more... )

I removed my glasses from the front dash and placed them over my eyes, aiding in my drive back to New York. It had been a stressful few days, stress that was expected but still unwelcome. I left Juska a couple of days before my first show in NY, giving me time to get comfortable in my apartment and practice some. He and I drove silently in the car ( Read more... )

My head hurts, my body's sore, and I am pretty sure this is not just the mother of all hangovers. The days have gone by and the days have gone slow since Christmas, and since I have arrived in Finland. I can't quite peg the relevance or meaning of this, just maybe that my head is mostly overloaded. I haven't been able to sit in one place for long, ( Read more... )

My Christmas experience was, unfortunately, something I can't say I haven't experienced before. Things happened just the way I thought they would, and that is never a good thing. I, for the most part, think of the worst case scenario before I think of the better. This way you are always prepared for the bad, and are surprised and appreciative when ( Read more... )

Breathe into my hands

A breath, a puff of air, someone's means of living all in your hands. Cupping their breath and holding it close to your heart; knowing that their life, and source of living is encased in your hands; they are encased in your hands.

I'll cup them like a glass to drink fromDrinking their life and accepting it as your own. ( Read more... )

I was hoping by hiding away in some secluded area I would be able to escape everything; I was only half right, as always. I have been able to stay away from my journals, meaning most of my deep thoughts. I scribble down random things in my paper journal when the mood strikes me, and lately it hasn't been that often. My flow of conscious hasn't been ( Read more... )