a 14 year old told me she wants to cover me in whipped cream

is that bad, or just awesome?

Hooboy, I did another bad thing today. I mean ok, it’s me, so I figure bad things are an everyday occurrence, so really for the most part they’ve grown to become acceptable, right? But today I did something that even I consider to be bad and wrong and shamefully inappropriate. The best part, I feel NO SHAME WHATSOEVER! They say the measure of a ( Read more... )

It's amazing how something so small and insignificant, like seing an elderly asian gentleman who strongly resembles an ancient turtle, can completely change your day and brighten your mood.

You Are The Devil


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Nope, nevermind. THAT was the most awkward/best/worst thing that could have possibly happened.

as a result, I've been drunk since about 9am.

oh boy

Ummm...wow, that was odd to say the least. It was either the best/worst/most awkward thing that could have possibly happened.

That is 100% correct, my good sir. Due to my drunken antics on halloween, some poor bastard now has a picture of a vagina on their camera. Cheers, sunshine.

I AM THE KING OF HALLOWEEN! And anybody who says otherwise is a filthy fucking liar.

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what would be your reaction if a guy you worked with came up to you (slightly drunk, but still eloquent) and told you that he was crazy about you, so much so that he actually got tongue tied for the first time since high school, and wanted to take you on a date?