Family values

[textualdeviance]

So, in assembling this photo collage for our adoption agency profile, I went looking for pics of the two of us

Comments

[mikescars]

I wasn't going to bother to even answer this but your mother said I should. I really don't think you are open minded enough to even pay attention to what I'm saying. It IS about you. YOU are the one that started this with so many lies I don't even know where to begin

[textualdeviance]

I've had a couple of days to cool off (and get a cracked tooth fixed--I was probably more cranky than normal due to pretty relentless pain) so I can answer this now. If you're up for it, I may also call you later this weekend, because I think we're losing some nuances this way. I'm a lot calmer about all this than I think you might be imagining, for instance

[textualdeviance]

(...continued) Let me try to put this a different way

[textualdeviance]

(...continued

[mikescars]

Finally able to get on here today, it wouldn't let me on this morning. Thank you for taking the time to pay attention to what I was trying to say. I'm not too bad but I really don't handle words as well as you do.

What you had to say about my scaring people is true. I have fought that most of my life. I'm big so I also must be stupid and insensitive. It hurts even worse when it comes from someone that should know better. As a result I have developed a hard shell to try to protect myself. It wasn't something that I meant to do, it just happened as a defense mechanism. I tend to lash out when someone hurts me. With your health problems I really thought you would understand but it seemed that you didn't. You're right, I thought you were just trying to hurt me for some reason and I didn't understand what I had done to cause you to hate me. So I lashed out in return. (This comment will continue.)

[mikescars]

I went to our pics file and looked for the file you mentioned. It was not there so I must have deleted it some time ago. I now do not start anything with anyone and only strike back if I feel I have to retaliate. Even then I let a lot of stuff slide but if something irritates me I strike back before I think

[textualdeviance]

Thank you. I think we understand each other better than we assume sometimes. I think we're both hurting from unrelated stuff and because each of us has some elements that reminds us of that pain, we lash out, even though we're not the ones responsible for it

[textualdeviance]

You might not know this, but I don't see Mike's family except on extremely rare occasions. If I spend any time at all around his dad, I get too tempted to tell him exactly what I think about him and the horrible way he treats his family, and that would be more trouble than it's worth. Mike visits to see his siblings and to take care of his mom, because otherwise no one else would. They don't have the same kind of family/friends support that you guys do, aside from the church, which can only do so much. The only other nearby relative they have is his mom's sister, and she already has her hands full with her quadriplegic husband. And since his dad is completely incapable of taking care of his mother, well, that's what Mike needs to do

[mikescars]

Yeah, I kind of knew that about Mike's family which is why I said it was petty. If you don't mind I'd like a little time to digest some things before we talk. Right now I'm afraid I'd be a blubbering idiot. Thanks.

[textualdeviance]

No worries. Let me know when you're up for a call.

Hugs. Really. <3

[mikescars]

In case anyone has been following this dialogue, we have talked and gotten a long way toward fixing our problems. Sorry we aired this on such a public forum but who knows, it might have helped us get back together.