We live in a world with no roads. We create our own, right? I just finished my manifest destiny- I am now moving to the city of angels. I could not be more excited- and the pay raise! 60% more than i am making now... So the big issue now is to move!

I begun therapy... and I keep saying i need to write things down and how I feel. I know how I feel... I don't feel anything. Ever since that summer where I felt abandoned and disposable... I have begun to treat people in the same way, everyone is disposable. I have even lost the ability to like people... instead ijust think about ways to avoid

Lately, life has been incredibly weird. Impatience and longing has replaced the past feeling of dread. Finally holding my Bachelor's Degree in my hands made me realize... I am important. My sister made me realize I need to take care of myself. My friends made me realize... they may not always be there for me. The one I love.... made me realize ( Read more... )

What should I do? I cant be the strong person I used to be... I am always the one people rely on for everything. Whether it be for dating, relationships, life, issues and everything above. I have always been the one there for everyone. This past week I reached a breaking point. I can't handle anything else on my own, I have lost everything and ( Read more... )

I keep saying I am going to write more, focus more, finish more, try more, workout more, take care of myself more. Instead my inner demons constantly surface and the anger I held towards so many people due to the incident in 2009 are consistent in the way they make me feel. How much more in life am I going to miss out on because of my own

In the blink of an eye he disappeared... One day coming back but today will not be that day.

So this feeling I have had lately... is like an internal clock saying "time to get your shit together, the world is waiting." It's the weirdest feeling... the same one I had when I left Virginia... and the same one I had the morning I got offered the position in phoenix. I think everything has a deadline... but wheres next ? I keep thinking los ( Read more... )

The three of us.. Ben, Benji and Benjamin. Guess who is writing this right now? Benji. Ben... the social conservative, Benjamin... the crazed over-sexed version of me... and then Benji... the one who wants to keep it all together. I have finally discovered a few roots to my crazed reactions... including the fact I havent gotten over the rampant let ( Read more... )

So... a deadly blow was dealt to my psyche. I think this time, it shut off most of my emotions in regards to helping people. I have a tendency to stick my neck out for people when they say they need help. I also have a bad tendency to make stupid decisions because I'm upset with people- or myself. Recently, or more over last year I asked my parents ( Read more... )

Today I got wind of some people being very unhappy with me for refusing to go to my graduation. I am the first kid in my family to graduate from a 2-year college, as well as a 4-year college. But... why should i celebrate something that I barely have anyone to celebrate it with? I spent my birthday last year by myself... I think i will do the same ( Read more... )