It's You [chapter 4]
Title: It's You
Rating: PG-13 || Genre: Romance/Drama || Status: On-Going || Chapters: 4/6
Pairing(s): MinSu
Previous Chapters: 1 || 2 || 3
Basic Synopsis: Junsu is an eighteen year old teen who thinks his life is just too boring. Ever since his best friend left the country and he stayed behind, nothing new seems to happen. That is until is friend, Seung Ri, forces him to go on a double date and by chance he meets someone who might make his life fun again.
A/N: Get your hearts ready because this one will hurt... And thanks everyone commenting on this *sends flying kisses* Keep telling me what you think, okay?
Junsu was sitting on the couch, looking at the tv but not seeing anything at all. He started thinking about all the times he had rejected Changmin and there were quite a few.
Both of them were dating for three months now and there was never more than passionate kisses, hands wandering through Junsu’s body and maybe that time when Changmin’s lips went a little lower than expected and Junsu could not help it. It was great, but never happened again, specially because the boy tried his best to keep Changmin’s hands away from his pants.
The thing was that eventhough he knew that Changmin had already noticed that he was avoiding the situation, this time he had been too harsh and the elder man was probably very upset and hurt.
Junsu did not know what he could do or say, but even so he decided to go to Changmin that was already in the kitchen washing the dishes and nearing him, the younger leaned his forehead on Changmin’s back.
“Junsu, go to the living room. I thought you were watching tv.” Changmin said
“I want to be here with you.”
“I am busy now” Changmin moved a little, while putting the dishes aside, but it was also clearly a way of stopping Junsu’s physical contact.
“You are angry, aren’t you?” Junsu asked, eventhough his tone sounded as he was afirming that.
Changmin sighed then and dried his wet hands with a cloth, looking at Junsu next. “I am human, Junsu, of course I am angry. We have been dating for three months now and for the last two you have been avoiding any kind of physical contact aside from the kisses and you have been doing it constantly.”
“It’s just that-“ He tried to explain, but Changmin suddenly interrupted him
“You know what really pisses me off? The fact that you can’t tell me why. I am not going to force you to do something you do not want to do Junsu, but don’t leave me thinking that I am trying to do something that you will never want.”
“You know it’s not like that, Changmin.” Junsu lowered his head after saying the words. He didn’t want Changmin to ever feel like he would always reject him, but it was really hard to tell him that he was just scared.
“I don’t know because you won’t tell me. You reject me when I touch you and I don’t know if it is because you don’t want me to or because you are not ready yet.
I am just asking you to talk to me, Junsu, to tell me what you want and what you don’t want. Just that.”
Junsu sighed deeply. “I’m sorry. I know it was my mistake, okay? It’s just that I’m not sure if I’m ready. I don’t know what to do.
Changmin’s expression softened after hearing Junsu’s words. That was what he wanted: for Junsu to say what he felt. He was not going to be angry if the younger was not ready, just because things did not have to be rushed at all.
“I will just ask you this: The next time I have something bothering me inside my pants, and you feel insecure, warn me before throwing me to the floor, okay?”
Junsu blushed while nodding his head and the matter was solved for now.
A week went by since the both of them had that conversation and things went back to normal. The couple kept seeing each other every day and usually go out after Changmin closed his coffee shop, either to have dinner together, to go on a date or just to walk to Junsu’s house while talking.
On one of those nights after a short walk on the park, both Junsu and Changmin ended inside Changmin’s car, hands intertwined after a make out session that left both breathless after so much kissing. After awhile, Junsu looked at his watch and told Changmin that he had to go home. The elder man nodded and as soon as he was able to he put the key on the ignition and started the car, taking his boyfriend home.
That day, when Junsu got home he headed straight to his room and laid down on his bed, looking at the ceiling. A little while later, he grabbed his cellphone and dialed a number, waiting until he heard a familiar voice.
“It’s 2am, Junsu…” Yoochun started, mumbling something that Junsu could not understand.
“I’m sorry, I forget everytime. Were you sleeping already?”
“Not yet. Did something happen?”
Junsu hummed. “I need an advice. Do you think I should sleep with Changmin?”
Yoochun was definitely lost for words. “WHAT?” The scream did not scare Junsu one bit, as he kept asking the same question in all kinds of different ways and that was driving Yoochun crazy. “Why are you asking me that? You are the one who knows if you want to do it or not.”
“I think I want to. I mean, I really think I want to.”
Yoochun could not restrain his laughter. Hearing Junsu’s desperate answer was too much fun. “It sounds to me like your hormones are out of control, Junsu. But seriously, if you want it so much then do it. You sound more than ready to me. Stop thinking so much for a change, you don’t have to plan anything because whatever has to happen, happens.”
Junsu sighed “I have to search then” The boy said, but Yoochun did not understand him. “This thing… I don’t really know what to do when the time comes.”
“Please tell me that you did not say what I think you said. You are not going to search those things for real, are you?
Junsu remained silent and Yoochun knew for sure that if Junsu was near him at that time, he would have smack him hard. “Go to sleep, okay? You are my best friend, but please spare me from your crazy ideas and any further details on ‘that’ matter”.
Junsu agreed eventhough he was not sure if he should really refrain from searching something about ‘that’. After turning off the phone, the boy still considered opening a web page, but ended up closing his laptop and go to sleep like his friend had suggested.
A week went by since Junsu and Changmin met again, even because although Changmin was not angry anymore, or at least did not act like he was, his coffee shop had more clients than ever.
Junsu had insisted that they go and see the food fair that was about four kilometres north of town and Changmin had to agree due to Junsu’s constant ‘nagging’.
The first part of the plan was done: going out with Changmin and taking him to somewhere he was bound to like.
After spending half of the day eating at the fair, Junsu had insisted on taking a picture as a memory of that day and after returning home with a hyperactive boyfriend who did not stop talking, Changmin felt the need to ask Junsu why was he so happy.
“What’s got into you today? You are so hyperactive!
“I am happy. We did not go out together in a week and you were angry at me.”
“We are here.” Changmin said, stopping the car in front of Junsu’s house and soon after Junsu surprised him with a question.
“Do you want to go up?” Junsu asked, tentatively.
“Up? What about your parents?”
“They are out for the weekend and come back monday morning only.”
Changmin was not sure if that was the best to do and kept trying to make sure if Junsu was serious. “Do you really think I should go up?”
“I think you should’ve gotten out of the car already.” Junsu said, kissing Changmin suddenly and getting himself out of the vehicle. The elder man was obviously caught of guard by those actions.
“What the hell was that?”
Changmin got out of the car and followed Junsu to his house. After going up the stairs to the second floor, the younger stopped in front of a door and opened it next, inviting Changmin to get in. He was obviously waiting for Junsu to show him around the house, but the boy acted in an unexpected way, grabbing his hand, pulling him and as reading Changmin’s mind, Junsu simply looked at him and smiled.
“I am going to show you my room.”
Both of them got into the younger’s room, that was much smaller than Changmins’, but was still cozy. Like Changmin, Junsu had the same picture, they had taken some time ago, on a frame and near his bed table.
“What about the rest of the house?” Changmin asked, curious.
“Later. My room is the only place that you will need to see for now.”
Junsu was being blunt, and Changmin thought that maybe the parts had reversed. Wasn’t being blunt and straightforward his role?
Although Changmin thought of something to say at that moment, Junsu did not let him and putting a finger on the elder’s lips, so that he remained silent, the boy kissed his boyfriend soon after.
Changmin was surprised, but did not stop the kiss and soon enough he realized he was laying on top of Junsu’s bed, having the boy on top of him, kissing his neck.
Wasn’t it supposed to be the other way around?
When Junsu started on Changmin’s belt, he stopped him for a second. They definitely needed to talk.
“Junsu, do you know what you are doing? Changmin inquired.
“No.” Was the only answer he could give Changmin at the moment. He really didn’t know. “Changmin, don’t ask anything right now or I am going to start thinking that this is a bad idea.”
“Well, I am actually thinking that maybe it is.”
“Do you want me or not?” Junsu was being straightforward, like Changmin had never seen him to be.
“Of course I do but-“
“Then shut up and kiss me.” Junsu said finally “And for goodness sake, help me take off this damned belt! Geez!”
Junsu’s frustration made Changmin smile, so he proceeded into helping the boy getting rid of his belt and soon after every piece of clothing disppeared as well. Junsu decided to copy what Changmin had done to him a few months ago and he sure felt proud of himself when he heard the loudest moan ever coming from his boyfriend.
Instintively, Junsu licked his lips and smiled at Changmin, making the man lose control and switch their positions in an instant. He could feel Junsu was insecure, but they had gone too far to stop and so Changmin did everything to make the younger feel at ease and let his body show him how he’d felt.
Later on, after giving in to tiredness, both of them kept as close together as possible, bodies covered in sweat and still trying to put their breathing in order, just looking at each other.
Changmin was playing with Junsu’s bangs while he only looked at the elder.
“What are you thinking about?” Changmin asked
“I’m thinking that this was my first time” Junsu said, as he broke the eye contact with Changmin. The man kept looking at him though, seemingly intrigued. “I mean, it’s not like it’s… I… I was not expecting it to be like this, that’s all”
“Can you define ‘like that’? Good, bad?”
“Weird, messy, PAINFULL as hell, but good.” Junsu said, smilling and blushing after describing it so bluntly. “I am going to take a bath.”
“Stay here for a bit.”
“Changmin, I-“
Changmin gripped Junsu’s hand and pulled the boy to his side, covering him with the sheets. “Forget that for now, just stay here with me.” He said, hugging Junsu, who finally gave in until a strange sound startled him.
“What was that?”
“How do you want me to know? It’s your house. Could it be your parents?”
“No, it can’t be. They will be back onl-“
“Junsu!” Junsu froze immediately as he recognized Seung Ri’s voice coming from his living room.
“OH MY GOD, Seung Ri! Why is he here?” Junsu was going crazy all by himself, while getting out of his bed.
“Why does he have a key on the first place?” Changmin inquired. He was still laying down on Junsu’s bed while seeing his boyfriend near a panic attack.
“He borrowed one the other day and I forgot to ask for it back. Changmin, hide!”
“I beg your pardon? Why should I hide? He knows who I am… right?”
Junsu opened his eyes wide while looking at Changmin as desperate as ever “Of course he does not know. How was I supposed to tell him?!”
The taller man stopped talking and just looked at Junsu. It was clear that he was not pleased with that answer.
“C’mon, don’t make a fit now and just hide. Actually, it’s better if we both hide because if he sees that I’m not home, he will give up.”
Junsu streched the sheets and the bed cover, grabbed his underwear and Changmin’s pants and put the rest under the bed, pulled Changmin by the hand and took the man into his bathroom, closing the door.
There, he gave Changmin his pants and put his boxers on while trying to listen to Seung Ri’s footsteps.
Seung Ri knocked on his friend’s bedroom door and when no one opened it, he got in and got surprised at the fact that it was incredibly hot in there. Grinning, the boy immediately went for the bathroom’s door and knocked softly.
“Junsu! Come on, I know you are there. Can you get out for five minutes? I know you are not alone, okay? I don’t want to interrupt you, but I have to talk to you, so can you come out for a bit?
Junsu sighed. Why did Seung Ri had to be so sharp?
Changmin kept standing behind Junsu, arms crossed, and wearing his pants only while Junsu opened his bathroom door a bit, just enough for him to be able to get out whithout letting Seung Ri see who was in there with him.
“There you are” Seung Ri smiled, coyly.
“What do you want?”
“You were busy, weren’t you?” He said, pointing at Junsu’s boxers and grinning.
“I was just getting ready to take a bath.”
“With someone else, I presume.” Junsu rolled his eyes at his friend’s assumption “You don’t need to be shy with me Junsu. There was ‘something’ going on in this room, that’s for sure.”
That was it. Suddenly a murderous thought had come across Junsu’s mind.
“I don’t lnow if you have noticed, but you are bothering me.”
Seung Ri smilled, probably sensing that he should not keep insisting. “Alright, I’m sorry. I just came here to return your cellphone. You left it at my house yesterday.”
Junsu took the device, thanking his friend and soon after making him realize that he should leave.
“I got it, I will leave right now. Good luck with the mystery girlfriend and remember to wear protection.”
“SEUNG RI!”
“Alright, alright!”
Seung Ri turned his back at Junsu the younger started walking towards the bathroom, but suddenly, when he was opening the door, he felt someone pushing him and the door opened wide, revealing Changmin inside, half-naked and looking suspiciously at Seung Ri.
“What is he doing here? What have you guys been doing?” Seung Ri asked, visibly surprised.
“Nothing. We are doing nothing. Changmin just needed to come take a shower because his house is-“ Junsu started
“I’m not stupid, Junsu. Are you guys doing what I think you are doing?”
“Of course not! Seung Ri, this was a mistake, okay? It doesn’t mean anything.” Junsu was panicking again, so Seung Ri decided to leave it at that and left the room just by saying that Junsu should know what he was doing, leaving his friend stuttering some incoherent words.
Changmin got out of the bathroom as soon as Seung Ri left the house and looking under Junsu’s bed, he took out his shirt and his shoes while Junsu looked at him getting dressed.
“What are you doing?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I am leaving.”
Junsu got near to the taller man “You can’t leave like that.”
“Do you have an idea of what you have said? ‘This was a mistake. It doesn’t mean anything’. Is that what you think?” Perfect. So the drama was starting. Junsu should have seen it come, after all it was his fault for not thinking before speaking.
“Changmin, I said that because of Seung Ri.”
“I don’t care why you said it. You did not say it because of him, you said it because you don’t want to admit what happened. Junsu, we just made love and the first thing you do is keep denying that. Did any of this had a meaning to you?”
“It’s not that. It’s just that…you confuse me.”
“So now it’s my fault?”
They were going to fight. Junsu knew it for sure and although he did want to avoid it, he knew he was not going to be able to. “You are always pushing me, trying something…”
Changmin suddenly got an idea of what his boyfriend was trying to say and it made him mad “Woah, easy there, Junsu. I didn’t force you to do a single thing.”
“No you didn’t, but it was almost like you did. You put pressure on me. Made me feel like if I didn’t give you something else…”
“Was that why you slept with me?” It was starting “Because you felt obliged?” It was coming “Well, for someone who was forced into it, you were pretty easy.” And that was it. Junsu snapped.
“What?” Junsu scoffed at what he had heard “I knew this was a mistake. I knew it. This was not what I wanted!” Junsu shouted.
“Well, maybe you should have thought about that before, Junsu. I never pushed you into doing anything and you did what you wanted to do. If it wasn’t what you wanted, then I am glad that you are telling me right now. I am going to make sure that from now on you won’t make anything else influenced by me.” Changmin grabbed his coat and bag and left Junsu’s room as soon as he was finished talking.
Junsu was left looking at the door, unable to follow the man. He went too far, he knew he had hurt Changmin deeply by saying things that he did not feel but Seung Ri’s reaction had made him panic and suddenly the idea of everyone looking at him like his friend had, scared him and made him reject Changmin again.
However this time the blow was bigger and Junsu did not believe it could be fixed. Maybe he had just lost everything at once without even realizing it and now was probably too late to get it back…