In the event of this new year, I took a look back on my past. I didn't like what I saw. I'm looking forward to moving on and out this year and hopefully giving up on a love that has consumed me the past two years. Here's to trying.

I am most definitely in denial about the current state of my life. In a week I have moved out of my parent's house and moved in with a man. A man who I know loves me, but sometimes I'm not so sure. What I'm trying to figure out is whether or not it's all in my head. Sometimes I make such a big deal out of things that aren't even really there at all ( Read more... )

Yeah, I'm scared. I'm fucking terrified. Why am I doing this? What happened in the last three days to make me crawl back to him and let him kiss my lips like it hadn't been so long. I want to do what is right but then I think about it and I don't care what is right or what is wrong I just want to do what feels good. I thought I felt good yesterday ( Read more... )

I'm trying to build a balance.

I'm not saying you're overly naive, I just think you should get into the habit of seeing when strings are attached. Fortunate for you I'm compassionate enough to throw back what I catch if it's underdeveloped and needs time to grow. Though I'm remorseful of the pain I've caused you. And I want to kiss your lips better.

I'm unconsoled, I'm lonely, I'm so much better than I used to be.

I see roadkill everyday. I wish I was roadkill. That's how I feel. I feel like someone hit me with their car and as I crumpled to the ground they continued driving. They didn't even notice. So now I am lying on the steaming black tar and my skin is sticking to it and no matter how hard I try to move I cannot. People keep running me over, again and ( Read more... )

Today would be our one-year anniversary. When I woke up my heart was beating real fast and I knew that I needed to hear your voice today, even if words I didn't want to hear came from it. But your phone is off and you're not home so I settled for your picture. I opened the weathered box that I stuffed all of our stuff in and as I started to go ( Read more... )

I’ve looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know love
Really don’t know love at all

I'm so tired of this heavy feeling. I just want to get rid of it and float higher and higher until I reach they sky. Maybe I'll even make it to heaven. I just want to feel weightless. I want to have my memory erased so I can start new. I want to drive really far and then turn around and cry the whole way back home. I don't want to have a home. I ( Read more... )