(Untitled)

[the_big_z]

I suppose now is as good a time as any to mention that I am now fully, undoubtedly, 100% employed. Henceforth I am no longer a lonely, out-of-work pathetic loser, but rather an equally lonely, career secure pathetic... Ahem.

Anyway, I am now promoted to the glorious position of boat captain. It's only a matter of time before the steering wheel of

Comments

[nagatodotexe]

[the_big_z]

You again.

[nagatodotexe]

[the_big_z]

Come to steal something else, have you? Well, I'll have you know that the Zapper's stash is safely tucked away this time. You're out of luck, you deviant.

[ace_of_11s]

A boat ride does sound like fun.

…But there's no way in hell I'm doing it if you're the captain.

[the_big_z]

Come now, there's no need to be that way. Boat captaining comes to me so naturally that I fell asleep during the training seminar, having already mastered the material.

[ace_of_11s]

I wasn't worried about your skills as a captain.

…But now that you mention it, I clearly should be.

[the_big_z]

Your cruel words are like weedwhackers on the overgrown lawn of my heart, madam. I assure you, I am the very model of a modern major-general. Or boat captain, or whatever.

[yo_yo_mercenary]

Are you sure you know how to drive boats? ._.

[the_big_z]

Absolutely probably maybe. I'm sure it'll be fine. It's a lake, madam, have some backbone. What's the worst that could happen?

[yo_yo_mercenary]

You could crash the ship and everyone could die horrible, drowny deaths.

[the_big_z]

In a lake. We could probably walk to shore, or at the very least, swim. Not that I'm banking on that or anything.

[vespa_alien]

I would like an extremely private lesson on how to pilot the boats, sir!

[the_big_z]

Now that's the kind of trust I'd expect from everyone in this blasted hovel.

[vespa_alien]

That's right! You are a trusted person and nothing bad is going to happen to you today!

Now let me on your boat.

[the_big_z]

Extremely private lesson, eh? Very well. Step aboard, landlubber!

[blitz_n_chicks]

They made you a boat captain?!

[the_big_z]

No one tells the Zapper what to do, Thaddeus. I made myself a boat captain. It's an occupation befitting a natural leader such as myself.

[blitz_n_chicks]

You'd better not hurt anyone!