so much thinking. i need to take advantage of my life more. hardcore. i need to not be scared of people and new situations. i need to figure out if im content with Beloit. and not just settle. because im better than settling. i need to go after what i want, if i ever figure out what that is.

the internet is boring these days.
i feel aimless.
my room is going well though.
i want to write but i have no ideas. none whatsoever.

I am listening to the Plans album by Death Cab for Cutie. its one of those albums that i cant listen to without remembering a very specific time in my life. it reminds me of the beginning of junior year, right after serena left, and my life felt suddenly completely different. and my life did pretty much completely change that fall. and the memories ( Read more... )

ecstatic ( Read more... )

so apparently sleep is for the weak, and i am very far from weak ( Read more... )

my wrists hurt like a bitch from too much viola playing. im definitely going to damage them permanently the way im going. or get arthritis hella soon ( Read more... )

I am going to go home and bike around the lake and paint my room a pretty color and not write any more fucking essays and figure out what i want to do with my life.

i hate people. i reallly do. they annoy the fuck out of me.

i am soooo fucking tired of the weekends here. i dont even bother going out anymore. the parties are lame, though staying in is definitely more lame. though its more that i have no one to go with. ohhh welll. things will change, and i am good at being quietly pissed off/apathetic ( Read more... )

my life consists of being tired all the time, with occasional bouts of loneliness.
i am sore all over, and i am enjoyign it thoroughly.