( Read more... )

After going to Wendy's with my brother:

Me: "Oh man, that was good."
Ben: "Yeah, so was your mom."
Me: "WTF?"
Ben: "OH GOD, WHAT DID I JUST SAY, OH MY GOD NO! I KEEP THINKING YOU'RE ONE OF MY FRIENDS WHEN I SAY THAT, AHH"

So much for the theory that blowjobs reduce heart problems.

I always used to be afraid that my parents would somehow trick me into appearing on one of those "My Child Licks Belly Button Lint and Mustard off of Hairy Scrotums for Lunch Money" talk shows when I was younger, even though there wasn't really anything wrong with me. I was just afraid of being one of those guests on the shows, with the host/ ( Read more... )

Dear 169.254.35.35 and 218.69.108.57,

Please stop trying to "hack" my computer.

I'm a dimwitted liberal, so I may be a little bit confused - on C-SPAN, was that an RNC video, or a 9/11 video?

( My Current Conspiracy Theory )

( C-SPAN (Warning: Boring) )

( Physical Attraction )

( Cycling Jerseys )