I'm nice, maybe to nice. I am naive, trusting and caring. I don't belong in this world. This world where no one got over what happened to them in high school. This world where you can't just let go of that shitty relationship you were in so you carry it to the next one. This world where you lie to someone to keep them around for your ego. In this ( Read more... )

So I was thinking today what if this was my last day? What would I do differently? Would I do anything differently? Would I still have the feeling that I am not good enough? Would I care about the stuff that people tell me I shouldn't worry about? Would I be at peace? I hope I would be at peace. Would it matter that you didn't answer my email or ( Read more... )

Since rehearsal last night I really started thinking about the state of hate. There is so much hate in this country it really gets to me. The show that I am in called the Laramie Project, it is a story about Mathew Sheppard who was beaten and eventually died of his injuries for being gay. I remember when this actually happened. I was saddened and ( Read more... )

Apparently I haven't blogged in a long time. I had, had a secret blog for a while that had to do with my therapy sessions and my recovery from my last major bout of depression. Blogging to myself seem to help keep the continual tape of negativity that would play in my brain. I am going through something simular but not the same. I am in a place of ( Read more... )

I have been reading one of my friends books and he was talking about looking back on your life so you can get your shit together now. Well that is at least how it effected me. If that isn't what he was really saying well that is what I took away from it. So where do I think my shit started? Most of my early life I don't really remember, there are ( Read more... )

Not to be a pain in the ass or anything but he is MIXED he isn't the first African American President (Elect) Obama is the first MIXED President elect. Haley Berry wasn't the first female black actress to win an Oscar; she was the first MIXED woman to win an Oscar. The list goes on and on. I bring this up because I am a mother of a Mixed racial ( Read more... )

I had a dream with my Dad in it . It was a good dream and I think my friend Anthony's wife is going to have their baby on Monday because of it. but I could be wrong we will see. The reason I think that is because of the dream. The dream was a good dream and while having it, unlike other times I have had dreams with Dad I didn't cry. It was a good ( Read more... )

A little background on me. I have either had my own or had access to a cell phone since the mid eighties.  Since my mom worked for the phone company most of my life she has always had a good deal on technology etc. So phones to me aren't a huge deal and I cherish time when people cannot get a hold of me. Maybe that is because I enjoy my alone time ( Read more... )

To some of my friends I am old, and to others I am just older a year or two older than them. My boyfriend's friends however are all the same age as he is which is 16 years younger than me. Yes I am a cradle robber but when one looks 10 to 15 years younger than your actual age that will happen. I look and act about 25 so I am told. Which lets face ( Read more... )

Well I haven't written in some time so I thought I would write something. But it seems I really have nothing to write about, because I guess I have nothing to bitch about. That seems kind of sad if you ask me.