Coty is gone. I don't really have anyone else I feel close to. But he isn't disappearing forever like so many others. He called me at one in the morning last night singing "Head Over Heels" by Tears for Fears. And he said he'll be back in January, but I don't know for how long and after that he's moving to San Francisco. That's better than Chicago ( Read more... )

Coty is moving away tomorrow ( Read more... )

Dying of waiting
for something to feel like living.

Feelings suck. I want to be heartless and powerful like Brian Kinney. And just when I think I've got it all under control, suddenly feelings sneak up on me.

I don't want to be "in like" with anyone. It's stupid.

Oh where to begin after so long ( Read more... )

So I can still use the net at my moms.

I feel so surreal. Numb. Confused.

He's gone now. He's never coming back.

Gone forever.

"If you don't cry ( Read more... )

101 with clothes and boots on... I only get to weigh myself when I go to my moms and use the bathroom, and unfortunately that doesnt give me time to strip without raising suspicion ( Read more... )

I drank too much whiskey the other night and was being a bitch to James all night, but so what? I had every right to be angry. But then when we got back to my house I guess I freaked out and threw one of my doc martens at his head. I don't remember doing so, but apparantly I also shoved him and was hitting him a bunch of times and finally letting ( Read more... )

I miss SMB. I had a dream about him last night. And there was this female celebrity on TV, a teenage girl with curly red hair, and her name was Romance something. I thought, "What a cool name! Her name is Romance!" But she was really just another one of those corporately manufactured teen idols, talent not included ( Read more... )