So I guess Evil Greta's plan worked. James is finally here, just for one week, but he's like a completely different person. Solid walls all around. Like it never even happened. We had sex when he first got here, and again that night, but now he won't even touch me. This is not the James I knew. Or at least, not the James he once seemed to be. I ( Read more... )

j is here. we went to karaoke. i fell down on the way home and my knees and palms are bloody. i'm working on my diet. today i had a slice of veggie pizza and 2 vegan chicken nuggets. Plus alcohol, obviously. i spent more than i could affors on cds and clothes today. but i only buy new clothes and cds maybe once a year, so even though i cant really ( Read more... )

James sent me another random "I don't know about anything right now, don't know what i want, I'm freaking out about life" message. Everytime I try to respond to this shit he gives me the brushoff. Fine! If you're not really going to talk about it then shut the fuck up! Quit fucking with me! So again, I try to call him when I get this weird message ( Read more... )

James is coming tomorrow morning. I was going to fast for a week before he got here, but then we had all this drama, and I was upset and depressed and confused and lonely, and I ended up stuffing my fat face for days and now I'm back to 103. Granted, that was with a lot of clothes on, but I can still see the difference in my nasty pig belly. Part ( Read more... )

"Hey there ( Read more... )

my wrists ache. i fucked up with james. i wrote a drunken rant about men in one of my other blogs, venting about my roommate but ending in why i couldn't marry james, because i can't love him, because i hate men, because i can't trust anyone, blah ( Read more... )

Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||| 36% Stability |||||| 23% Orderliness |||||||||| 40% Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 63% Interdependence |||||| 23% Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 70% Mystical |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Artistic |||||||||||||||| 63% Religious |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Hedonism ||| ( Read more... )

so my roommate stole my debit card and all the money i had besides rent... but my half of the rent is worthless since he doesn't have his...

MEN.

scheming, thieving, lying, cheating... AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH

It's creeping closer to that ever-so-thin line between "SAFE" and "NOT SAFE." And the closer it gets to that line, the more I want to destroy it. Smash it to bits before it gets there. Run while I still can, before it's too late, before it engulfs me and erases all of my hard work. I can feel myself slipping. I don't want to go crazy again. I'm so ( Read more... )

So James said he still has the money he saved to reimburse me for his half of the ticket, and that he will also have spending money while he's out here. Reading that before I went to bed was very comforting and led me to sweet dreams of us finally being together. It was so natural, so awesome ( Read more... )