Got groceries yesterday. Helluv vitamin waters and odwalla protein lattes. Wrote James a long letter regarding my concern about his financial situation. I'm sorry but I'm not getting screwed again and telling myself "Oh it's okay, we're in love and he's in trouble, I'll take care of everything." Because if you do that, men will just be content to ( Read more... )

So I found my childhood/high school sweetheart on myspace. The boy I always thought I would marry. The boy I always believed was my soulmate.

Oh my.

I want to see him. But he lives far away too.

*Sigh* And I may be marrying James. I don't know what I'm doing.

"Pain is love. To bleed is to care ( Read more... )

"she's lost in coma where it's beautiful ( Read more... )

The only thing keeping me from quitting smoking is the fear of gaining weight. I know it would happen. It's unavoidable. And I am just not okay with that.

I don't even like smoking anymore. And my fiance thinks it's gross. Hell, so do I. But I'd rather be thin and smell smoky than be fat and smell lardy.

When I was "seeing" Tory or whatever, I told him right off the bat about my ed. That, obviously did not work out to my advantage. Except, I guess, for the fact that it was honest and showed me that he couldn't handle it before things got too serious ( Read more... )

"i jsut read your blogs... im not a player! if i were i would be the worst player ever... players dont love! and i for sure love you!... im serious, lets get married at the donut shop. it will be like a fairy tale. we'll eat vegan donuts and i'll wear a suit. you in a dress and we'll both wear sneakers. mine are vans... sorry no chucks. im at a ( Read more... )

That's all I've ever wanted to hear. Someone I love and trust, who's seen right through me all along ( Read more... )

I am weak. Easy to manipulate. Fragile. Crazy. Damaged. Used. A frightened little girl. And that's what they wanted. All of them. That's what they were after. Pedophiles, all of them. Probably even James. I couldn't possibly trust anyone who wanted me, because they'd have to be sick to want me.

asparagus, broccoli, cabbage, carrots, cauliflower, celery, cucumber, garden cress, garlic, green beans, lettuce, onions, radish, spinach, zucchini, apples, blueberries, cantaloupe, cranberry, grapefruit, tangerine, honeydew, lemons, limes, mango, oranges, papaya, watermelon, peach, pineapple, raspberry, strawberries, tomatoes ( Read more... )