One day I will perch atop a slategrey mountain drinking venomous snakedrugs from the skulls of my enemies. One day I will be so tired I will turn to liquid and flow down the street, gathering filth and styrofoam cups in my silent oily wake and seeking the storm drain that leads to the cartoons that you dreamed as a child and wished to god you ( Read more... )

Everything I own is covered in sand.

So now I live in San Francisco, and I am a plumber slash journalism student slash punk bassist slash struggling author slash that guy on the bus who keeps grinning at you. How these things come to pass I may never fully understand. Slash: Damn man, that dude could play some guitar. Doubledamn ( Read more... )

Cousin's Wedding = Me urinating in sink of Catholic church + Drinking + Convincing 81 year old grandfather to dance to "Ice Ice Baby" + more drinking + making jokes with my father about spiking the punch with LSD + breakdancing eight year olds + still more drinking + strange uncle with monolithic forehead + some drinking + I have a headache.

I am ( Read more... )

Today I quit smoking. I have accomplished this by cleverly running out of cigarettes and money at the same time. It is a marvelous technique. I should market it on late night television. So far it has been a snap. I'm actually kind of disappointed. No shivering, no shaking, no jitters, irritability, or grinding of teeth. Not even mild ( Read more... )

I think that I am gradually losing my will to blend in with the normals. Today, sitting in a lit class, I became convinced that I was turning into a dog. The girl with the classy yet enticing outfits caught me snarling at her from across the room. Last week I held a twenty minute conversation with my hand, bent into the shape of a mouth, in a ( Read more... )

Today I was looking under rocks again. I do this when life starts to dry out. What I found, beneath a flat, gray stone, was a shrivelled old man roughly three inches in stature, lying half curled in the cold damp dirt. He blinked his tiny mothwinged eyelids in the invading sunlight and turned his head to peer at me. He looked to me like the ( Read more... )

I've just had an epiphany. I don't just mean a really good idea. I mean an actual epiphany. A sudden and inexplicable flood of unquestionable truth coming so quickly its origin and internal logic are obscured behind a blinding sense of perfection. The last piece slipping into a puzzle you never knew you were working on until the instant of its ( Read more... )

You know what I like about addiction? It gives you a problem that is really easy to solve. You need something, and you know exactly what it is. So you go and get it, and then you're okay again. End of story. Simple. I mean even if you're out smoking pole to get a hit of smack, isn't that easier than trying to fix depression, loneliness, angst ( Read more... )

Last night I dreamt I was on stage in a huge packed concert hall. Huckleberry Finn was there with me and my father, who was trying to kill us both. He had to get these orange wrist bands on to us before he could do it though. He got one on Huck who fell to his knees crying because he was marked for death. I was darting around the small stage to ( Read more... )