i was ophelia in high school, and my black sweater that is tearing at the seams seems to only remind me of blackness i could drown my literary body in. morning skies of dark blue with bare trees against their endlessness - stark - and the breath catches in my throat again. days of walking on hard unforgiving pavement; gray roads that need to be ( Read more... )

NATURE versus NURTURE

in the broke-down room after you left, i sat with a found cigarette in my hand and traced your name on the table with my finger, trying to make sense. i sat on that couch like our first night, both of us drunk on tequila and apple juice. and for a little while last night you were eighteen and my mouth curled up a little when i saw your eyes sparkle ( Read more... )

he came around eleven and took me to a party. he had till six-thirty the next morning. we left on his insistance and came back to my house. in my bed i'm naked again and he gets up to leave, i knew he would, because he had to call his mom from someone's house. he tells me he'll be back ( Read more... )

i am a sucker for poetic words, and you know this. which maybe explains why we always end up drunk and attached, teenage passion at its worst, all the while you spewing words like "beautiful" and touching my jawline tenderly. the drive home at seven a.m. seemed much longer than an hour and a half this morning, maybe because we barely talked, both ( Read more... )

tonight i stole the car at ten and drove to a convienience store. one pack of parliament lights (got carded this time) and one pack of gum; two or so hours to waste before i'd be able to sleep. it's definitely autumn now. the moon was full tonight, the streets in their deserted weekday night streetlight glow, newly fallen leaves swirling around ( Read more... )

my first year in high school, there was a boy i would come early for. we met through an aquaintance, and every morning during the first months of fall we'd walk through the deserted hallways. and we'd push up against lockers clumsily and fumble around, exploring eachother's bodies with no emotion, sneaking around, watching for teachers. one day he ( Read more... )

i saw joel last night randomly in the city :] he's always so excited to see me, and it's awesome cause i LOVE him. we got to talking and he was like, "were you at the les savy fav show?" cause we had talked about it last time we saw each other and i was like "yeah, were you?" and he was like "yeah! damnit, i almost called dan to see if you were ( Read more... )

WEEKEND UPDATE

friday night: dan's kegger downtown. insane. i went with sean cause we couldn't wait for laurie to get off work. we weren't there for long but BETSY OF THE SKIRTS was there and i drunkenly told her of my love for her and how she always wears skirts. she invited me up to her apartment and gave me nice things and then we came back. ( Read more... )

AND I DON'T KNOW IF ANYTHING BUGS ME MORE THAN THE WAY THE INTELLIGENT, FUN GUYS I HANG OUT WITH SOMETIMES LIKE/GO ALONG WITH THE STUPID SLUTTY GIRLS WHO LISTEN TO STUPID MUSIC. It seems like guys always go for the idiots.

WOWWW I've had all this anger building up for a long timeOh but did I mention that at Denny's last night, the entire male ( Read more... )