WOW.

I think I may be about to have a very strange weekend.

My life is a lot better now. I do things and see people and get excited and make mistakes and make good decisions and feel confused and feel like I'm doing the right thing and just generally feel alive and emotional again. I still get really sad sometimes but today I thought about how this thing that happened is not a part of me. It is outside ( Read more... )

DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

I think I'm getting better, albeit slowly. I keep catching glimpses of myself. It's very appropriate that it's spring. I am analogous to the just-opening leaves. Today i got excited about a memory of my childhood and I felt so proud and relieved to be connected with the past again. To be feeling again. I will make it.

the only thing to do is get brave

I called out of work two days in a row. I'm not sick.

I called out of work because I'm so stressed that I'm having pretty severe physical side effects. I was sitting at the kitchen table talking to Val and suddenly these little sparkles started floating around. And my ears are ringing all the time. Gross zits too. I'm thinking pretty seriously about quitting ( Read more... )

I talked to roommate Matt about the really bad thing that happened in Japan. It was really difficult to get through, but in the end it felt like a huge weight off my shoulders. And he even had some really good things to say. I'm feeling about a million times better than I did yesterday. Things come and go. The ball is in my court.

buck up, fuckup.