a girl showed me her soul once. it was on paper, writen from the darks of her mind in a depressive fit held together by the walls of the girls bathroom at lunch and triggered by something completely uneventful that meant so much to her. she was hesitant to show me, but her muscles eased when i told her it was the most precious thing i'd ever seen ( Read more... )

i've taken to sleeping with my cd case on my right and my head next to my dodgy speakers. mum told me to turn it down so i just moved it closer to me. but i miss how the sound filled my room, how it leeked into the corners and merged into the oxygen and just filled the space. but i like how it now runs through my blood and the rythm is what sends ( Read more... )

i feel so abondoned. everyone seems to be turning their backs, no one even looks at me anymore. this isn't a cry for attention or me whinging really.. i just want to know where the fuck everyone's gone.
what'd i do? this isn't for just one person, this goes to alot of people in my mind.
oh jesus im just going to sleep and cry ok.

( Read more... )

how does everyone know?! i hardly knew! this is insane and fustrating because when i'm with you, they're not going to walk past and not care -- just think we're friends. they're going to watch and look and know. i hate people knowing. because when they know they ask and im not prepared to tell practically anybody, it's too private. i've turned into ( Read more... )

i'm sick of trying to define my life, my day, her, myself, everything. im tired of never being able to find the words, especially for her -- she just doesn't fit into words, if i tried there'd still be a corner of her, a angle, a element sticking out. it's exhausting and fustrating but exhilerating to know my life is being like this at the moment, ( Read more... )

"there've been a few message like this, i don't know what's going on but i think you're a bit over your head."
for gods sak; fuck off

you know what i find odd? and disgusting and interesting and sick ( Read more... )

another week. i can't take much more of this

thank god for you

i don't feel like myself anymore
i feel like so many people have abonded me in my life
i'm just the last to do it
and i feel scared and alone in this new me
coz i don't know
anything really
i don't knwo if im doing the wrong thing,
making the right decisions
or if im sliding and trippign and fallingand if i am ( Read more... )