Comments | theevilchemist: The Ghost in the Machine.

theevilchemist

The Ghost in the Machine.

Jun 17, 2009 11:02

It's really silly how at a certain age, you start to look at your mortality. It's completely b/c everyone else is looking at it and out of some weird collective consciousness you can't help but stare at it too. I'll get over it once I turn 40 and realize the Sandmen haven't taken me to the Sleepshop ( Read more... )

Comments 22

mystress June 17 2009, 16:08:57 UTC

*hug*

I fully understand. I can't help but think what is expected of me next and I'm stuck in a loop of saying F You to all that and looking at it objectively and thinking, "yep, I'm just getting older."

I still love going out dancing, but I'm biased in that I like my music over most of the Toronto DJs. Dance is good.

gwyrah June 17 2009, 16:25:27 UTC

From someone who has past the magic number, 40 and runs (about 5k a day) and still gets "you look like your in your 20's", I feel ya brother, Lisa and I have slowed down, but you'll never take going out with the "kids" away from us.

I'm still having fun and I don't care what other people think so pffffttttt!

Nice choice in listening btw. :)

:) theevilchemist June 17 2009, 17:42:02 UTC

Nice choice in listening btw. :)

I download it every week and particular like your metal hour, since I'm not as familiar with that genre than the goth electro set.

jv

inulro June 17 2009, 16:28:45 UTC

They just don't have the energy/time/inclination to do things any more.

I have the time and the inclination, I just don't have the energy. Which sucks.

dethany June 17 2009, 16:50:24 UTC

I'm going through a similar head crisis. I can't go anywhere w/o getting carded, I'm finding all of my friends/acquaintances are in their early 20's now - everyone my and Mike's age (he's a little older) is spawning, buying property and our interests are seriously diverging. I may have more in common with the kids, but the lack of experience and lack of depth in experience in their lives creates an uncomfortable distance.

I am 100000000% sure of never having kids, and all the people that also said the same...have gone back on it. I will probably grow old alone with my art, but at least I will have freedom in my lonliness.

I've been really down lately about it...and also feel the need to exercise.

Coincidence, hrm.

mystress June 17 2009, 17:30:56 UTC

Wow, hearing this makes me feel a lot less alone in my current headspace.

yep theevilchemist June 17 2009, 17:56:01 UTC

The kid thing has a lot to do with it.

My brother has had 2 kids, my sister has one on the way, and they are within 2 years of my age. Sometimes I think about the kid thing and there's always a voice that shouts back a resounding "NO!"

I used to say I'm not opposed to having children, but as I grow older it goes further and further down on the "to do" list. I think it's below the noise floor now.

Once you have children, the amount of time you have for yourself drops at least 2 orders of magnitude if not more.

It's neither here nor there, again just a choice, but it's a huge cultural divider, that separates parents from non-parents.

jv

Re: yep daednu June 17 2009, 23:05:05 UTC

I don't think it has to be a divider.
I have some very good friends who have chosen not to have children and respect their decision. Just as they understand that my children are the world to me and I can't imagine ever having made a different choice.
It's true alone time is much less when you have kids. Even more so when you are doing it alone as I am. But I can't imagine having missed that opportunity to grow from seeing the world through their eyes or watching how they contribute to the world around them. Not to mention seeing who they become as they get older.

As for the garden - you should plant starts. It's certainly not too late for that and will be more satisfying than the empty plots. My recommendation is broccoli. It's simple to grow and so sweet straight from the garden.

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Sure. theevilchemist June 17 2009, 17:23:29 UTC

I think it's less about energy and intention than that there's a LOT more options for where to put the time that is resources.

Sure, the world is a pretty massive place, and as you grow older your interests expand. I've added gardening, cooking, nutrition, politics, the stock market/economica, making leetle electronic devices to my suite of regular hobbies/interests, but these are all solitary interests.

I think what I'm depressed about is the lack of social interests most of my older friends have. It's difficult to get anyone to go to a movie/party/dinner/bowling/club/concert, anything that requires getting out of the house.

Part of it is me as well. As the years go on, I've become even more hyper. I've gotten so heavily involved in exercising, that it is really difficult for me to sit still for any length of time.

And how people choose to spend their time in neither here nor there. I'm more or less lamenting in the divergence of old friends.

jv

Re: Sure. rat_bastard June 17 2009, 18:22:14 UTC

I think what I'm depressed about is the lack of social interests most of my older friends have. It's difficult to get anyone to go to a movie/party/dinner/bowling/club/concert, anything that requires getting out of the house.

I generally have to struggle to find time where I get to actually spend an evening at home. As a result, I never feel like I have time/energy for personal pet projects and such. Of course, 99% of the people whom I see on a regular basis (not counting co-workers) are younger than me.