Here it comes again. The darkness. I am defenseless.
Dan came over last night. It was an excellent time. Great sex. I think some of the best we've ever had. Good convo, good tv, good sleep and good ending. He's definitely not my end-all. I know this, I embrace it. But it was a good time. I am ready to let it finally transition to fuck buddy for ( Read more... )

I'm pissy. Who knows why. Went to Jami's tonight for girl's night. I hate girl's night. I just don't like it. Pizza, wine, hot tub, movie - Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants... I HATE girl's night. I skipped out on the last one, though, and was feeling a little guilty. I have weird feelings about those friends for absolutely no reason. I decided I  ( Read more... )

Pretend relationship with Tom is going well. Last week we went Bowling.... I love love love Bowling, but it is so date-y. I was worried that I would get weirded out. He came over after work and we played name that tune on his Blackberry. I was incredibly bad at it. No surprise, it was all old music.... Music that I know for no reason, could never ( Read more... )

I am going to preface this by saying I am totally drunk and please disregaurd anything I say ( Read more... )

Lj, I have been thinking of you lately. I need to unload these thoughts. What a nice thought receptacle you are ( Read more... )

The theme of my life right now it to remember how vulnerable I am despite my strength. I can never be strong enough to fight the fact that I am a single girl. The world is too big for me no matter how big I am. I am just scared lately. I don't like to feel this way. I feel unsafe everywhere. everywhere. It's cry-worthy. I cried a few times ( Read more... )

At this time 5 years ago I was hallucinating because of the Ambien they gave me to help me fall asleep. I didn't sleep for even one full hour and I was so tired but my mom and I laughed and laughed. It is one of my sweetest memories. I think back on that and I just wish I could go to that moment and tell myself to realize how special it was right ( Read more... )

So as soon as I give up and accept defeat, something even more powerful happens. I cannot control myself but to love him some more. It's like those fake candles that they put on your b-day cake to make you A) look like an ass and B) not have your wish come true ( Read more... )

I sat down to post cause I felt kinda shitty and then I suddenly felt happy. So I don't know what to say anymore. haha ( Read more... )

Recovery now. Wednesday was the first time with Dan that I didn't feel like he loved me. He doesn't love me anymore. I knew it from the minute I walked in. He flirted with me. He was different. He wasn't my Dan - the one that I know. It felt so good to be next to him. But I knew it was pretend. It is over. for real now. The book on us is closed ( Read more... )