Hello ( Read more... )

I'm in Africa. I looked at a map but I couldn't read any of the names (they all have too many "z"s and when I read "z"s I fall asleep) but I think I remember that it's one of the pink ones. Or maybe one of the green ones. But I think it has pointy edges. I dunno. Anyway, to make a long story short/shortbread/ginerbread/cookie, I went to this ( Read more... )

Fuck! Damn! Capri Pants! Crap! I am so angry right now I could eat a car, diet be damned! I'm so angry that I might just modulate the sound of my voice! Well no, I'm not that angry, but I'm pretty RRTO- Really Really Ticked On! I checked my bank balance this morning, and there was nothing there, not a red cent or even a hay penny! ( Read more... )

Well it finally happened, just like that gypsy predicted all those many years/days/never ago. I've tried to avoid wells for as long as I can remember, but this one came looking for me. Looking for trouble. I was out walking my computer as is my want, when suddenly I espied a sign that said "Wishing Place." As all of my fans and psychiatrists ( Read more... )

Hey guys...not that my fans ever read this anymore, and it makes me wish my head would fall off from leperosy, its me... Hessel ( Read more... )

How to make a hessel
Ingredients:

3 parts jealousy

5 parts humour

1 part
Method:
Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Serve with a slice of caring and a pinch of salt. Yum!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.comI saw this thing that said to type my name in to see what my ingredients were, so I did. This is waht it said. Boy do I feel like a pecker ( Read more... )

Dear Internet amigos, cabrons, chingas, conquistadoras,etc ( Read more... )

Hey guys I can't believe its not butter, nor can I believe I haven't written since Thursday, nor can i believe in things I can't see like emotions, wind, or my computer screen. Lets put on my warm thinking cap so I can remember what has happened in the last few days. Well thursday wasn't fun because I realized I was allergic to asbestose. On the ( Read more... )

Memo to all citizens of the internet-
From ex-citizen Hessel-

It should be noted:
I, the fake Mat Hessel, am a man of convictions. In fact, I was convicted twice for hamburgularing! No, I kid, that didn't happen. Or did it? No. It was murder. Burgercide. Actually I meant the other kind of convictions, the kind that means I believe in stuff and stuff ( Read more... )

Deer internet friends/internet relatives/internet, its me,...... you guessed it... Hessel. I'd like to begin with some appologies: Appology 1, I am sorry I have not written in my journal for a few days. Appology second, I am sorry that my last entry was so pschophrenic, I forgot to take my pills. Appology C, soory mom and dad, i wish i was a ( Read more... )