I've taken the time to open my mind, and pause for self reflection. I'm disgusted with every find. Tattoos to cover the time in Sunday school. The fight to stay sedated and medicated. The objectifying of women. The lack of self worth, dignity, and identity. I'm still at the bottom scrounging for scraps. Or maybe I was always, just didn't see it ( Read more... )

Every once and awhile I'll read these posts and truly see how far I've come. I'm still dealing with the same bullshit. Whores, drugs, and alcohol dominate my mind and my life. Reading those old words reminds me of the stinging pain I felt in those days. Naive and soft, crying about every loss of every little girl. A melodramatic broken record, ( Read more... )

Women are playing cards to me

I was tainted from birth, the devil has a grip on my soul and will never let go. I'll fuck you hollow and leave you bleeding in the alley. No amount of pussy, drugs, or booze will hide the smear on my conscience. They took from me my purpose, and left a hungry creature living in the dark. I can't sleep at night, the rage will never subside. I don't ( Read more... )

I'd have to go back and check but more than the majority of these posts are well under the influence. Drunk and high is more often than not tends to breed these. Tonight is not that or any other hallucinogenic flashback ( Read more... )

In a few short months I have changed from a server at a corporate restaurant, bieding my time in suburbia, living with my mom; to one of the staple bartenders in the most popular spot in Richmond. Much has changed in my life but yet deep down I still feel miserably the same ( Read more... )

Greater Love ( Read more... )

I take a break from the daze of smoke only to be restless enough to sit at the bar. One fix for the other, which is worse? We can tumble down that rabbit hole or we can remember the insignificance of ourselves and carry on this excuse of human experience. I still feel the bars around me and the COs looking disdainfully upon me. The only difference ( Read more... )

the shame

Just reading one post was enough for me to return. Its not legal for me to beat people to death, so i'm going to do it softly, with harsh word ( Read more... )