That thing you jumped over a few weeks ago? It was, indeed, a shark.

I'm sitting on the back balcony right now because there's a nice cool westerly wind and it's still too hot inside. The wind is nice and I'm not sweating anymore (and it's quiet without the giant fan in my face). But it's also kind of creepy. Occasional flashes from far-away lightning, the squeaking of clothesline pulleys as the wind forces them to ( Read more... )

Yesterday, I crawled home and turned on the TV in the faint hope that something would entertain me mindlessly while I waited for laundry to be done.

I found Spaceballs.

Tonight, I get home and turn on the TV. I find Beverly Hills Cop III.

Well, you can't win them all.

I was woken up after only 5 hours of sleep by the guys who came to install my doorknobs (yay for doorknobs!).

Now do I go back to sleep, or do I stay up to watch The Last Starfighter?

Ah, the fictional world where a kid who spends hours breaking the record on a video game instead of shacking up with his hot girlfriend is considered some sort of

The cat from across the way is sad that I'm not sharing my delicious-smelling beef fajitas.
Incessant meowing will not stop me from enjoying this yummy food.

Never again will I start writing articles at 3am.

I can't think.

Now unconsciousness.

This story is just screaming for your attention.

I'm in the process of experiencing one of my favourite moments of existence: That time, just after you've gotten your cable hooked up, when you have free access to almost every cable channel. Hundreds of them. Everything from Golf TV to the Arabic channel ( Read more... )

What's worse than stepping on a nail?

Stepping on a nail, then putting your other foot down to take the weight off the foot that stepped on a nail, and having that foot go down on a nail, thereby putting your entire weight on two nails.

Ouch.

or so the media is reporting.

I'm saddened because we got married just as she was losing consciousness. I'm in contact with my lawyer to discuss the grieving/money-collection process.

UPDATE: Already eight people are trying to cheat by choosing her today in the Rotten.com Dead Pool.

Fark's headlines: "Anna Nicole Smith found unresponsive (and ( Read more... )