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too much `feeling`
you know its great that I can project emotion so much when dance and that my `feeling` is so strong but it also has its curses. Such as when Im going through a very stressful time or really bad depression kicks in then my dancing totally plummets and I can`t do crap....bah -
my first restaurant gig
So excited and a lot of fun (but some annoyances as well but its all a good lesson to learn ( Read more... ) -
Aurora Show
Guest dancers were all fab! And it was heartbreaking when mina played a video of her sister dancing before she passed away and all the dancers danced to the choreography along with the video ( Read more... ) -
standing up for myself more
I think the more I realize who is healthy in my life or not i have less tolerance. Yesterday's lesson was meh ( Read more... ) -
felt better after my therapist session
but we both agree i should be on some sort of medication which is proving to be a huge hassle, it was much easier when I was seeing a therapist in Japan. I cant afford it but my mom said she was willing to pay for me but apparently i need a physical letter from my therapist...also trying to find a day since really the most convinient time to go ( Read more... ) -
and then sometimes i feel...
that im wasting everyone's time and energy and i don't have anything to offer and can't get anything right...not good enough and why the hell am I even still breathing and taking away precious air...and those type of thoughts tell me i need to see a pyschiatrist asap because i can't get myself out of this with thoughts like that...i screamed into ( Read more... ) -
im not dead!
Still here just came back from an amazing trip to the USA. Just struggling with myself about should I stay here in Japants or to make a change. Money continues to be a problem I don`t understand why I`m struggling even though I have a full time job >< So I guess it depends if things don`t improve soon...I`d like to start teaching dance as some nice ( Read more... ) -
debut party!!
So omg it was an awesome night and I was surrounded by so much love...save from my teacher but she couldn`t ruin my night because I had my trio of wonder women by my side and it was my night ( Read more... ) -
pray for me
after a very annoying email from sadia, I`m thinking its time yet again to stand up for myself and say like how she didn`t dance at the other dancers debut party, I don`t want her to dance at mine.
If you don`t hear from me for a few days, call the popo XD -
it`s my debut and I`ll bitch if I want to....
I don`t think it`s so appropriate or...thoughtful for a teacher to dance at a student`s debut party...there I said it, it`s her day dammit. So says Sadia and she didn`t dance at Makiko`s...but she`s dancing at mine...why? Because Bolbol `asked` her. I wrote `asked her` like that because in her words he requested her by saying`oh you are going to ( Read more... )