Brilliant performance!
Too bad no one did see it;
You weren't in your light.
( Read more... )

Two words that make Passover more bearable:
Matzah. Pizza.

My poor resume.
Sent to so many people;
Ends up in the trash.

-or-

Pictures of me,
Looking so hopeful and young...
Ignored by agents.
( Read more... )

The other dealer indicted in Dealer-Gate '07 didn't get his job back when I got mine back. Ken was right. Don't F with Lisa T. or her business.

24 studio quality portraits: $125
Stolen copy of Photoshop: $0
Retouching photos and adding borders
(using stolen copy of Photoshop): $0
75 copies of professional-quality headshot: $90
25 Press-and-seal 9x12" envelopes: $3.49
18 First-class stamps: $7.02
Getting rejected at all sorts of new auditions in person: PRICELESS

Last night, I ran a charity poker tournament in North Bergen. 30 people played, buy-in was $80+20 (5,000 starting chips with optional $40 add-on for 3,000 more). I got the job because my poker buddy Bill got sick and couldn't do it, so he called me the day of.

I believe there are six qualities that one must possess to be considered "great" at their endeavor: aggression, patience, resiliency, observation, courage and an intense desire to improve.http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/poker/columns/story?

I'm looking for synonyms for the following words. Informal and slang are acceptable. Archaic gets bonus points. And no comments about a playwright without a thesaurus.

( The List )

Spartan Dip: I'm not your fucking test subject.
Spartan Dip: I don't have fur.
Spartan Dip: I don't do mazes.
Spartan Dip: and...
Spartan Dip: I am not a pan-dimensional being searching for the meaning of life.

I've done a few of these myself

( Loser first-date locations )