I don't sleep very much anymore. I just want to be able to feel tired before 4am. I also want to stop feeling like shit before i do get tired.

In ways i feel numb.

In others apathetic.

Feeling sort of sad

A bit annoyed

Happy, maybe.

Optimistic? Maybe tomorrow...

But really it comes down to the fact that I am feeling numb.

Does everyone feel this way after they graduate college?

I think i have gotten over my anxiety about being around him.
This is a great thing for me. he was actually nice to me and didn’t ignore me, even though i tried to ignore him. not to say it wasn’t awkward, i just know that i can be in the same room with him without feeling as though i am the biggest idiot in the entire world.

Why is that the first person I run into this evening when I went to hang with some friends is the one person i do NOT want to run into? I swear, if he thinks I am following him i will be angry ( Read more... )

I am not in a good mood today. I should have known i would have been rejected. he warned me, i just didn’t listen i guess. i made a fool of myself this weekend trying to hit on him, what a bad idea. i have never been that forward with anyone in my life, and i sort of hate myself for it. i feel used, i feel ashamed, i feel i dunno what. I had fun ( Read more... )

I have taken to talking to myself ( Read more... )

I have been fighting calling you for a few days. I don’t know why I feel the need to reach out to you all of a sudden. I know however, that if i do call you it will hurt me. no matter what you say to me…..

Cute guy from last night was at the dance that was happening tonight on campus. I don't usually go to these dances, but my friends Katherine and Sam decided it would be a fun time if all three of us went and just danced as stupidly as possible. It was so much fun! especially when i tried to break dance (of course as jokingly as possible) Those two ( Read more... )

I went to a party tonight, and there was this really cute guy who i am pretty sure was checking me out the entire night. He kept moving closer to where i was in the house, and we chit chatted a few times. A friend of mine showed up to the party so i went to talk to him for a bit, and when i turned around the cute guy was gone. I tried looking for ( Read more... )

I am at the point in the evening where i think about love. The love i had, the love i crave, the love i hope for.

I want to be in love again. I miss it terribly.