I'm feeling off , scared and lonely. I feel I have to be perfect and the world is fucked up and nothing works out how it should. Things should be powerful and I want thinks just to work out easily. I'm exausghted from the pain I feel. I just want one thing to depend on. I just want one thing to work out perfectly in my life. I want to feel like I'm ( Read more... )

I was driving to town in John's car with juice and malcolm. Its weird what thing will randomly hit you when driving. I was thinking back to swet. jordan lonstaff said to me "atleast you had a brother" so this was a couple months ago and i was still Pissed off. I knew that was irrantional of course. But that didn't help me let go of being angry. But ( Read more... )

I kinda hate my life right now. Its the same thing every single week. Nothing seems out of the normal, nothing exciting. I hate my job I dread it everyday and even when im finished work. I'm dreading work right now. I don't feel useful anymore. I'm just getting sucked into my evils and I felt so distance from the Lord. I felt so off and I realized ( Read more... )

I had a really hard week. Texas was really good and despite it being hard I enjoyed being there. But the mixture of the week was too intence for me. By the weekend I couldn't take anymore and I'm still feeling mentaly worn out. I'm worrying about stupid things like whats my summer life gonna look like, stuff I can't change but I am for some reason ( Read more... )

its been a while, I'm still fighting the battle. I'm clearer now on a couple areas of my life but new things keep popping up. I'm trying to be ok with not knowing where my life is going. But i've felt like this for a while like I'm following my body through the motions of my day and not feeling or being present with my emotions. I look back at my ( Read more... )

1. Grab the nearest book ( Read more... )

What is a bizzar night, even my dream was weird. I woke up and didn't remember if it was a dream or it actually happened. I'm really sick of this highschool bull crap and what I realized yesterday I'm sick of myself because part of me is still like that. I'm still immature, and what happens today doesn't matter in the long run, getting broken up ( Read more... )

What a good day. Somtimes its the simplest random moments that are truly so amazing. In these moments I see god, and that makes me happy. Fuck all of this teenage waste land lets all just be innocent , loving and carefree like children.

At the moment I feel pretty good I stayed home sick. Which is convient because I really need a break. I'm scared and I'm feeling joy. Sometimes I'm really dissapointed in people, and thats upsetting.

I'm done with life, I've had enough.