It's like this -- a friend of mine started a magazine.  I guess you can start magazines.  I don't know.  The only thing I ever wanted to start was a crack commando unit to go on secret missions and get in adventures, maybe go rogue, plan a heist, steal gold bars, perhaps fancy artwork.  My point is there'd be grappling hooks and synchronized ( Read more... )

I'm going to make this very simple -- Wise is having a Halloween party.  You are all going to go.

October 27th, Saturday night, at the French Club in historic Chelsea, Massachusetts.

You have right around eleven weeks to sew your costume, lie to your friends and family about your whereabouts, and stash some kidnap money in your safety deposit box.

( Read more... )

The last two weeks have not been good.

Last week I worked four thousand hours, like a coal miner trapped after a dynamite mishap, desperately trying to dig my way to oxygen, using only the shattered remains of my trusty pick-axe and some old coffee-stirrers I found in the mine's break room, strung together to form a crude spear to fight off the ( Read more... )

The Smittens are playing tonight somewhere in Somerville.

I want to go.

Bring the thunder!

Mid-Summer Mixtape

1.  The Star Spangled Banner  by Marvin Gaye

From the 1983 NBA All-Star Game.  Larry had 14 points.  If you don’t know who Larry is, I’ll be out back dropping science and dropping Bs on you.  “Bs” are punches in rap talk.

2.  Across 110th Street by Bobby Womack

Tarantino ripped off the theme song from another movie, Across 110th St, ( Read more... )

I'm going to make this real simple, I want a banana Twinkie.

I want a banana Twinkie the way professional daredevils want to don white leather jumpsuits with the American flag emblazonned on them and jump over things on their dirtbikes.

The first hero who brings me a banana Twinkie -- or handy two-pack, or  box of said torpedoes of delicious, cream ( Read more... )

There's starving kids in...I don't know, wherever they keep starving kids -- the zoo maybe?  I don't know.  My point is, I just sent a half dozen candy bars some millionaire ( Read more... )

Thirty years ago today, Star Wars was released.  It was good and pure and sweeping and fucked me up for life ( Read more... )

First, my TV sweetheart, young, blonde, spunky, outsider, super-sleuth Veronica Mars, lost her battle with fledgling network, The CW today.  You'll always have a place in my heart, V.  Always ( Read more... )

Disheveled Starbucks Kid:  "Hey, man.  What do think about rats?"
Your Hero:  "They carry the plague."
SBK:  "Still?"
Me:  "Yeah.  I guess.  I mean, I haven't heard anything on the news lately, but yeah."
Starbucks Girl:  "Plus they can swarm you.  Like in that movie.  The swarming rat movie."
Me:  "There's also that whole rats-off-a-sinking-ship thing ( Read more... )