Mini rant...
I've been having a bit of a think and I realized that more than being ana/mia for appearances, I tend to be like this as a way to punish myself for being fat and ugly. There is also the control thing too. I feel much better about everything when I'm totaly in control and I am very scared to say that I find fasting quite easy
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Here's a question I'm going to post about, when did YOU become ana/mia?
Can you remember a time when you weren't?
As for the fasting, I have conditioned my body to not eating so I don't so much fast as I just don't get hunger pains like normal people.
I do like that you (like myself) pay attention to what you DO put in your body. However little it may be. It's like we don't kid ourselves about health and the realisticness of what we do :p
Good rant dear, good rant ;D
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To answer, I was mia in my early 20's with laxatives (although had yo-yo'd since my teens) then I started work and learned about a private health clinic locally where I could but "real" appetite suppressants - but they made me feel crazily overwrought after a bit and I couldn't cope with them (wuss). So I went up and down, binge purge binge purge til I got fed up with doing myself in adn "confessed" to the doctor. Then I went for cognitive behaviour therapy for ages and ages (but was always jealous of the ana's!??) and stopped it all for a bit.
Later on, when I felt everything slipping away from me (ie out of control) I went on here to find some like minded people and felt like I "came home".
So now I know it's not just me, and I feel better about having the ED in the first place!
I have managed to eat a little something today, for energy, but feel bloated and fat (again) Hey Ho
Nice to hear from you again though, Doll XXXXXXXX
How are you?
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I was triggered to think this because of some photos I was looking through.
What's even more interesting is that I didn't feel fat then and I don't think "oh god I was fat" when I look at them. But a few months later, same size, I felt fat and when I look at those pictures I still think "god your fat" even though I know there is no difference from one picture to the next :p
Sorry I have been absent for a while.
Had to go back into hiding. It's what's best for my relationship.
I am at work now and have been drinking a large bottle of water all day.
I had a bowl of cereal this morning and that's it for me :D
Although I do need to start overdosing on the eggs because my psoriasis is acting up :p
But aside from that I think I'm going to lose at least 20 lbs before July.
What do you think? can we do it LMAO .... well... we shall see I guess.
So that's how I've been overall.
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