Love O' Tron - THE LOVE DOCTOR CRUSH MACHINE.

[things_go_boom]

[Smash Academy.

After being distracted for a while, Lash finally set up what she had wanted to do since right before Christmas. After hacking into the database, setting up permissions, tricking the hands to fund it, there is now a strange machine in the main common room.

A Crush Love Tester & Compatibility Machine!

It's so simple!

- Enter

Comments

[notsilvertongue]

[Oh no. Crushes. WHICH ONE DOES SHE PUT there are a million names she could go with. Curse her 12-year-old heart. Maybe... maybe she'll just start with the Team Rocket Kid. Since they are sooooo totally gonna fall in love and get married and have a bunch of kids and SCREW YOU MISTY :'( :'( :'(((( ]

Name: Lyra
Crushes: Red

[things_go_boom]

[After a few seconds of flashing lights, text begins to appear!]

COMPATIBLY LEVEL: Eh.....go for the dream.

Your sexual level is: Better than a duck.

[Your charm bracelet is yellow]

[notsilvertongue]

[Is that... a... good one? Ducks aren't particularly romantic, are they? All she can think is Farfetch'ds. Maybe Psyducks.

Clearly she just needs to try again.]

Name: Lyra
Crushes: Silver

[things_go_boom]

[After a few seconds of flashing lights, text begins to appear!]

COMPATIBLY LEVEL: He might be seeing other guys.

Your sexual level is: Better than a horse.

Note: Someone else has entered that they have a crush on you!

Congratulations!

[You get a red bracelet.]

[painting_beagle]

[Smee walks by.

... Stops in mid-step, walks backwards and stares at the machine. Oh my goddd it's like Christmas to her.

Okay let's start with something obvious.

Name: Smeargle
Crushes: Mike Jones
Are you currently dating? Nope
If yes, name --]

[things_go_boom]

[After a few seconds of flashing lights, text begins to appear!]

COMPATIBLY LEVEL: It could happen if the stars are right.

Your sexual level is: Better than an octopus.

[Your charm bracelet is yellow]

[painting_beagle]

Wow...

... Better than an octopus what.

[She takes the bracelet and enters another set

... She had to actually think.

Name: Smeargle
Crushes: Prince Poo ]

[things_go_boom]

[After a few seconds of flashing lights, text begins to appear!]

COMPATIBLY LEVEL: He might like you!

Your sexual level is: Better than a metapod

[You get another yellow bracelet.]

[time_mast3r]

[things_go_boom]

[After a few seconds of flashing lights, text begins to appear!]

ERROR. NO INDICATION OF STUDENT NAMED VINCENT IN DATABASE. CLOSEST MATCHES FOUND:

- VECTOR
- VOLGIN
- VINNIE
- VIANCA

PLEASE SELECT A NAME TO CONTINUE.

[time_mast3r]

[She really facepalmed.

She REALLY did.

Sigh. Dana selected Vinnie without hesitation, still glancing around hoping that no one was coming or anything.]

[things_go_boom]

[After a few seconds of flashing lights, text begins to appear!]

COMPATIBLY LEVEL: He might like you!

Your sexual level is: Better than a duck in heat

[You get another yellow bracelet.]

[punchtheflowers]

[Vinnie shrugged off the machine... He was totally over this crush that he had a million years ago, right. But somehow it just kept tugging at this deep-seated curiosity, plaguing his thoughts to the point where he finally caved in and went back the next day.]

Name: Vinnie
Crushes: Vileplume
Are you currently dating? No

[things_go_boom]

[After a few seconds of flashing lights, text begins to appear!]

ERROR. NO INDICATION OF STUDENT NAMED VILLEPLUME IN DATABASE. CLOSEST MATCHES FOUND:

- VECTOR
- VOLGIN
- VIANCA

PLEASE SELECT A NAME TO CONTINUE.

[punchtheflowers]

[Oh... well, it was true that she wasn't enrolled. He was a little crestfallen.

Well, he might as well pick someone else just for kicks. He was going for Vianca, since it was the only girl's name on the list, but he somehow managed to press Volgin instead. Fuck.]

[things_go_boom]

[After a few seconds of flashing lights, text begins to appear!]

COMPATIBLY LEVEL: YES! YES! YESSSS!

Your sexual level is: You make the sex god cry in shame.

[Your charm bracelet is black with flames and spikes]

[rocketambition]

[Well, this is an interesting piece of machinery. Not that Archer's really experienced with this sort of thing, but he'll examine it for a moment before deciding to test it out.]

Name: Archer
Crushes: Giovanni
Are you currently dating? No

[Well, it's not exactly a crush. It's a compatability test, right? This might help with the whole loyalty issues he's having. Yes. So he'll enter another one...]

Name: Archer
Crushes: Cyrus
Are you currently dating? No

[That seems suitable. Not that he's actually going to believe what a machine has to say, but hey, it could at least be somewhat amusing, right?]

Giovanni

[things_go_boom]

[After a few seconds of flashing lights, text begins to appear!]

COMPATIBLY LEVEL: Gotta catch them all!

Your sexual level is: Better than a Laprass in heat.

[Your charm bracelet is blue]

Cyrus

[things_go_boom]

[After a few seconds of flashing lights, text begins to appear!]

COMPATIBLY LEVEL: Why would you want to?

Your sexual level is: Subtle yet dangerous in bed.

[You get...a red bracelet!]

[rocketambition]

[Why would you want to? does make him snicker a bit. Archer snatches up the bracelets and proceeds to leave the room, tossing them both in the closest trash can. Like he's really going to believe some piece of machinery over his own intuition? Please.]

[...Besides Gotta catch them all! is pretty vague.]