Comments | threepennies: Fuck the Bouquet, Fuck It In the Ear: A LiveJournal MiniSeries

threepennies

Fuck the Bouquet, Fuck It In the Ear: A LiveJournal MiniSeries

Apr 10, 2005 22:25

Part IMy older cousin finally tied the knot and I looked forward to her wedding with about as much enthusiasm as a forced catherization by a three hundred pound inmate named Shakes ( Read more... )

Comments 21

darwinpolice April 11 2005, 08:26:03 UTC

I'd only have to do this one more time in my entire life.

Doubtful. Anyone who chooses to exit the most blissful day of her life to the sounds of Kelly Clarkson strikes me as the gets-married-once-every-three-or-four-years type. Have fun!

threepennies April 13 2005, 08:00:35 UTC

Perhaps. But at that point I'll probably just fake ebola.

darwinpolice April 13 2005, 08:03:32 UTC

Want ebola for real? I can hook you up with the guy I've seen picking up three different hookers in this neighborhood in the past two weeks.

No joke.

demure April 11 2005, 08:37:31 UTC

I am moving to New York in a month.

We need to get together and get trashed before I go, I've decided.

drbagpipes April 12 2005, 18:55:20 UTC

In the interest of Internets hospitality, I'll make a reciprocal offer. Assuming you mean NYC and not NY state.

demure April 13 2005, 02:05:09 UTC

nyc.

drbagpipes April 13 2005, 17:49:48 UTC

Cool. Interested in meeting strangers from the Internet?

Thread 7

the_automatik April 11 2005, 13:50:42 UTC

Are you Filipino? Because I know a Filipino girl and she is very HUSKY!

Will you be needing a WOK?

threepennies April 13 2005, 07:42:25 UTC

Husky. What an awful word. What it really means is, "My parents don't want me to feel bad for the fact that I'm a fat ass."

There isn't anything wrong with fat asses.

gordonzola April 13 2005, 14:26:30 UTC

Husky was the brand of jeans (cords?) that I had to wear as a kid.

gordonzola April 11 2005, 14:51:34 UTC

I know it sucked for you, but this was fun to read. You should suffer more like this for us, your readers. "Black tie and ennui" was especially great.

threepennies April 13 2005, 07:53:17 UTC

Thank you. :)

threepennies April 13 2005, 07:58:40 UTC

The question becomes, is there a day in the life of an amateur nonfiction pseudo-writer when they do something not because they really want to but because it might make a great story?

Cause Reggae on the River is coming up...

:P

gordonzola April 13 2005, 14:25:36 UTC

My god. Sister, that is noble commitment.

and a warning, as a fellow amateur nonfiction pseudo-writer, I spoke at a panel at the Fancy Food Show for that reason and it was so boring I had nothing to write about. What a waste of time.

My high school reunion however.....

I was already holding back a turtle-head, weezel365 April 11 2005, 20:33:05 UTC

And the comment about "GreenPeace protection from overzealous Japanese fisherman" literally almost made me shit my pajamas.
Anyhows, the proper responses are along the lines of "Well look how wrinkly and gray you've gotten!" "Is this your THIRD face lift?" "Gee, you sure have gotten short with age!" "So when are you gonna break that hip, eh?" "You know, you always were my favorite aunt. Any chance I'll get some money when you die?"

Re: I was already holding back a turtle-head, threepennies April 13 2005, 07:55:11 UTC

It's true. But I think they are just jealous because my blubber can fuel a lantern for a month.