No pain has ever crippled me so terribly as todays. Shuffling, broken, numb, enraged, down-on-my-knees-crying-my-stomach-through-my-throat, yet fully cognizant that none of these feelings can be justified. They're disallowed and irrational. I am (was?) the perpetrator here, not the victim. This was my decision.
It's still too much. Too fast. Not
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