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Self-Segregation
I was thinking today as I sat in class surronded by my 50 some class mates, most of whom I'm sure consider themselves "normal" (translated as straight, white, non-liberal), that I almost wish I could attend college with just other trans folks. Now obviously as somebody who wants diversity promoted, I would not be in favor of this even if it was ( Read more... ) -
I would make a terrible Russian...
...since many Russians are strict diarists (or so I've read) and I'm terrible at keeping this current and never write daily. Oh well. At any rate, my journal is now completely current and up to date (at least until tommorrow) for those good friends of mine who still subject themselves to my whining and bitching that I continue to include in this ( Read more... ) -
Therapy
Just a quick entry since I have to get up in 4 hrs. Had my 1st actual therapy session with my therapist yesterday. I thought it went pretty well. She had to direct most of the conversation with questions b/c I found it difficult to talk about myself and say anything useful ( Read more... ) -
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The stress I spoke of in my last entry is mostly gone at least for the moment. I think Jamie J. has had a lot to do with this. Having someone to talk to who actually does listen and seems to want to listen is a major help in dealing with the issues causing or contributing to my stress. Even though many of our conversations have taken place over ( Read more... ) -
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This entry is late not for lack of time, but more for lack of sleep, which produced a profound lack of motivation. Working at one of my extra jobs to put my hours in at the last minute at the expense of my normal sleep requirements, has made me feel like all I want to do is sleep now. I know part of this has to do with the stress I've been feeling ( Read more... ) -
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It's been a month since my last journal entry mostly b/c I've been pretty busy and there hasn't been a whole lot happen lately that has prompted me to write. This is probably also b/c since school let out for Christmas break I've dressed how I want (at least underneath) more than I haven't. I've felt more like myself these few weeks, than I have ( Read more... ) -
11/26/2007
My anger frightens me ( Read more... ) -
11/23/2007 12:15 am.
I'm really so confused at this point I really dont know where to begin writing or which subject to begin writing about. For the first time I think my gender issues are the ones I'm least confused about. I'm still pretty certian of how I would prefer to live my life if the choice were easy. It's everything and everyone that's in my life that is ( Read more... ) -
10/31/2007 1630 hrs
Today has been another study in my true feelings. I think I tend to realize what my true feelings are when I don't actively pay attention to them. I'll be walking along in a daze, & suddenly I'll realize "Damn! I really do feel that way" b/c it just bubbled up out of my subconscious thought w/o conscious provocation. A perfect example occurred ( Read more... ) -
10/29/2007
I'm beginning to realize HOW MUCH I feel like I NEED to live my life how I want, yet I'm also feeling like doing so is an impossible feat. Why does living the way I want and having what I want seem like they have to be mutually exclusive desires? Feeling like this is the way things will always be for me sucks!