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manipulations
it's come up multiple times in my life whether or not what i am doing on a daily basis is genuine. i often find myself stepping outside of my scope of vision, that viewpoint from which we see our own actions, and looking at situations from a third-person perspective as i'm living them out. rather than an out-of-body experience, though that does ( Read more... ) -
i am John Cusack
i went on my first real adult date tonight. first a little lead in: last week Sparkles and i wandered into a bar on the Lower East Side because we had missed a couple hipster bands in the area and felt like drowning our sorrows for $3 a beer before 9 (it was 8:30). at some point during the night we were joined by Hyle's girlfriend and her friend ( Read more... ) -
obfuscuriosity
confrontation doesn't scare me. having to deal with the outcome of confrontations tends to send me into a social coma in which i can hear and see everything going on around me but have no way to affect outcomes. last night i was confronted with another side of my conversations that led me to leave Apple, and it made me start wandering down the ( Read more... ) -
revelations
today was my last day as an employee of Apple, Inc. i left on great terms, with some people saying some incredibly touching and amazing things to me. i will miss the good people, and even the ones who made me question things there. i don't regret any moment of my time there, perhaps excepting that i didn't do all i planned on doing. not a ( Read more... ) -
the reminder
i've made my decision. i'm going back to grad school. i'm done with being ashamed and afraid. i was made to be an actor, and now is my chance to reclaim that. it will probably be one of the more difficult undertakings i've had in a long time, but now is when i have to prove to myself that i really want this. and i do. i'm not content being a ( Read more... ) -
the blasphemy of bare walls
i was helping a girl from California today (from LA, schools at Cal) and had to take a moment when I realized that it has been exactly a year since I graduated from college. One year ago I was congratulating myself on my life's accomplishments and looking forward to a daunting but bright future. i feel like i should take stock of everything that' ( Read more... ) -
agere
today marks exactly six months since i moved to New York City to become a professional actor. it's a little wild to think of everything that has happened in that time, but the most shocking thing of all to me is that i'm currently typing this post without looking at the keyboard and i'm typing fairly quickly. who knew that moving to a big city ( Read more... ) -
first snow
it snowed today. it snowed for the first time while i've lived here. yes, that's an egocentric way of thinking about it but it makes me feel good so i don't care. i danced in the snow, twice. people walking by me were shocked and amused, but didn't stop because it's New York and no one stops here, not even for crazy people. they stop for ( Read more... ) -
catcher in the rye
the days are getting longer. slowly, of course. it wouldn't be right to throw the world out of balance just because we prefer sun to shade. or at least i do. i feel like i don't see the sun very often any more. i would guess that's because i get up at 11 most days and don't leave work from 3 to midnight. i can't stand living in the dark, ( Read more... )
