i've never been alone on new year's before. i've never had to work the morning of new year's before, either. i've never gotten off work after midnight before. unfortunately, the pervasive thought is that i did this to myself and therefore have no right to complain. i hope that doesn't also mean that i invalidated my right to be sad about it. i ( Read more... )

there are words to categorize the last twenty-four hours. i am not capable, at this moment, of dredging them from my tattered and nervous mind in order to adequately express how fucked up i feel right at this moment. i finally got a dresser, sort of. it's two plastic drawers stacked on top of each other, but it was the cheapest option, and, well ( Read more... )

great. just great. do i need to find a mohel?

Hu-Brisapparently hats really do cause AIDS and cancer. my grandfather, a prominent urologist at LA County thought it was, in fact, better "to cover one's head before god," so to speak. i don't know who to believe! at least i have some choice in the matter. seriously, this sort of thing only ( Read more... )

today was a particularly shitty day. i'm happy to say that there was no major crisis or unfortunate circumstance that made it such a shit-filled pice of crap coming out of a deer's butt. it was, instead, a series of annoying and somewhat disheartening mishaps that made me feel like i was sucking Peter Griffin's teet to the tune played when clowns ( Read more... )

hi. it's been too long. as always. long bouts of depression or unidentifiable emotion leave me feeling spent and empty, as is usually the case with most people, but in those times i decide not to pour my heart out to the unfeeling internet/ small web of friends who read this poor account of my daily life and over-reaching aspirations. i instead ( Read more... )

good evening, folks. welcome to tonight's edition of "You've Been Hit by an Emotional Semi!" tonight's contestant is a young man who was brought to a sobbing breakdown in front of his friends after seeing the new film "Running with Scissors." the film portrays a young man growing up in a dysfunctional household effectively run by the emotional ( Read more... )

i am continually shocked by how much media effects me emotionally and spiritually. books and films particularly have the most impact, though i've had instances of being touched by a painting or a photograph. sometimes i'll be reading a book that ordinarily would not cause more than interesting thoughts to pop up in one's mind, but find myself ( Read more... )

i suppose i could check my archives to give an accurate report of how long it's been since i posted, but i don't care enough and i feel my journal is free-flow enough to not care either. i think i'm over the slump of depression that i've been in for a while. i had a really honest conversation with myself the other night when i was on the phone ( Read more... )

My pirate name is:

Iron John Cash

( Read more... )

after seeing The Illusionist, CWR3, Eggman, and I were on our way back to the apartment, when we happened upon a large ice sculpture outside of the Cipriani building on 42nd and whatever. this was no ordinary ice sculpture, however. it was a vodka bottle. roughly five and a half feet tall, and completely frozen still as it stood by a parking ( Read more... )