I make a habit of finding the tallest buildings I can, climbing to the top and observing the glowing lights towns and cities have to offer. Up there nothing can touch me. Nothing can speak to me but the usual thoughts. Planes and stars accompany the specs of illumination that somehow fill my empty heart for that short amount of time. I take a deep ( Read more... )

This isn't the first time I've been lost. In fact, its one of the infinate times my mind has over taken my body and has caused inability to be productive in anything but doubting.With her racing through my mind I glare across the river and see the thousands of bulbs that illuminate the concrete structures that make up this town. I don't want her to ( Read more... )

As this feeling overcomes me like a sand storm whirling up from behind I take a second to actually analyse what I feel. I feel cold even though I'm warm. Its almost like sleeping on a wood floor, in a damp room without a blanket. Despite my best efforts I still feel this empty space in my head that doesn't excite for anything. I will breathe, I ( Read more... )

Its been close to two years since I've written anything in this thing. Here I lay, uninspired and deflated. I feel like I did two years ago but lonelier. Imagine getting everything you wanted from life but at the cost of your family moving and the impending doom of being forever lonesome. If I could do it over I couldn't say if I'd do anything ( Read more... )

This page became a paragraph and this paragraph is becoming only a mere several sentances. Do I want a girl that I have to beg for?

I want a life...and though if I come back to this I may never know what I was feeling at this instant and it shouldn't matter.

I lie in bed with my blinds drawn watching the storm outside. My arms are clenched around a pillow for comfort. All I can think about is where you are in europe and how much you are smiling. Why aren't you here? Why is there a pillow here in my arms instead of you?

I'm sick of the whole female population. The ones I kiss dont answer their phones a week later and the ones I'm nice to and console bad decisions yell at me for breathing. I've been thinking and maybe the only real sweetheart is the one I've thought was the worst....at least she thanked me for "making her laugh until her cheeks hurt".....shes gone ( Read more... )

Sweetheart ( Read more... )

For the countless time I have found myself backing my car into it's normal spot into the garage past 2:00 am. I sit and contemplate what I am doing. Where I am. How things are. My seclusion has taken a toll on my "friends" and it's going to continue and I don't seem to care. Several phone calls included cursing among and at my "friends" and yet I ( Read more... )

For the countless time I have found myself backing my car into it's normal spot into the garage past 2:00 am. I sit and contemplate what I am doing. Where I am. How things are. My seclusion has taken a toll on my "friends" and it's going to continue and I don't seem to care. Several phone calls included cursing among and at my "friends" and yet I ( Read more... )