Tricks and Trials, Part 2
Title: Tricks and Trials
Fandom: RPS
Characters: Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki
Prompt: 014. Green.
fanfic100 table: here
Word Count: 11,182
Rating: R
Warnings: Recurring deaths, which of course leads to angst.
Summary: While filming Mystery Spot, Jared becomes a victim of the Trickster, and the script suddenly applies to real life. There’s a lesson to be learned, here. Jared just needs to figure out what that lesson is.
Disclaimer: Fiction: an imaginative creation or a pretense that does not represent actuality but has been invented.
Author's Notes: For some reason, I keep coming up with ideas where crap that happens on the show actually happens to J2. I’m sure it’s getting old, but…I wrote this, anyway. I kind of thought No Place Like Home was my answer to Jensen going through Supernatural crap in Forty-Three Days, and I did kind of like throwing Jared into a situation where he ended up meeting Sam and Dean and the conflicts between their personalities. But I somehow thought this up for this prompt, and I think this is more of Jared’s parallel story to Forty-Three Days. Maybe. Or I’m just on crack. :P
Part 1
made by ala_tariel
This shit is bananas
B A N A N A S
Jared shot up in bed, seeing a flash of Sadie’s new green collar as the dogs scattered from either side of him.
Again, this shit is bananas
B A N A N A S
His chest was heaving, tears rolling down his cheeks. He would never get over the memory of killing Jensen, the feel of his fist connecting with Jensen’s head and the sound of Jensen’s skull smacking against the door haunting him even now.
This shit is bananas
B A N A N A S
Jared grabbed the alarm clock and threw it across the room, the music stopping as the object shattered against the wall. He threw back the covers and made it two steps out of bed before he fell to his knees.
“STOP!” he screamed, long and loud, lifting his head and staring up at the ceiling, as if the trickster that was causing this could hear him. The morning routine was forgotten again that day as he stalked down the stairs, the dogs trailing behind, and threw open his front door, stepping out into the Vancouver cold in nothing but his boxers. “WHERE ARE YOU?!” he shouted, lifting his head to the barely lit sky and spreading his arms. “SHOW YOURSELF!” He heard doors opening, heard neighbors speaking and gasping, but he didn’t care. “I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE! I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING! SHOW YOURSELF!”
It wasn’t a surprise when the cops were called, and it wasn’t a surprise when Jensen showed up as well, speaking calmly to the cops and insisting that they let him talk to Jared to try and calm him down.
“Hey,” Jensen said carefully, slowly walking over to him, hands held up in peace. Jensen’s hair was still mussed and flattened on one side from the way he slept on his pillows, clothes rumpled and haphazardly thrown on his body, a green backpack slung over his shoulder. “Dude, what’s going on with you?”
“You wouldn’t understand,” Jared said, fresh tears already springing to his eyes at the thought of having to watch Jensen die again.
“Try me,” Jensen said gently. “You know me. You know I can help you. Here, I even brought you your walle-”
Jensen reached into the pocket of his coat, and that was all it took for one trigger-happy cop to assume that he was packing, one well-placed shot to the back enough to dull Jensen’s eyes and send him crashing to the ground in front of Jared, blood pouring from the wound.
This shit is bananas
B A N A N A S
Jared groaned, his hand covering his face before he even opened his eyes. When he did lower his hand and open his eyes, the first thing he saw was the green of Sadie’s new collar.
Again, this shit is bananas
B A N A N A S
He sat up slowly this time, gently ushering the dogs out of the bed. He sat, thinking and wondering why Sam had never gotten to the point where he just offed himself instead of living the hell of watching Dean die over and over again; not even after 100 Tuesdays. Losing Jensen felt like losing everything, every single time.
This shit is bananas
B A N A N A S
He reached over and turned the alarm clock off and thought up the answer to his own question: Sam was determined to save Dean, no matter what it took. He could watch Dean die 100 times, but know that he was stuck in a loop for a reason, and would still try to figure out how to stop it and how to keep his brother alive.
Jared picked up his cell phone and dialed Jensen’s number. He’d keep trying, but if he couldn’t keep Jensen from dying, he could at least spend as much time with him as he could and make every minute count.
“Motherfucker…WHAT?!”
“Hey, man, sorry for calling so early.” Jared did his best to sound lighthearted, but it was so damn hard. “You kiss your mother with that mouth?”
“Aw, blow me, Jared.” Jared actually smiled a little at that. He wished he could keep smiling, keep the banter going, but he couldn’t.
“Listen, uh…I know that it’s early, and this is kind of coming out of nowhere, but do you think you could come over?” He heard the rustling of sheets on a bed, and knew that Jensen was moving into a sitting position.
“…Now?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m just…I’m a little freaked out right now, and I could use the company.”
“Yeah.” Jared heard Jensen getting up out of bed, heard drawers opening as Jensen searched for clothes. “Yeah, sure. Just gimme a few minutes, okay? Mind if I shower at your place?”
“Yeah, whatever you have to do. Just get here.” He hung up and ran a hand through his hair, pulling himself up out of bed. He went through the morning routine: wash face, piss, brush teeth, dress.
The doorbell ringing sent the dogs into a barking frenzy, the two of them running to the front door, and he followed, unlocking the door and opening it. Jensen stood on the other side, eyelids still heavy with sleep, hair still mussed and flattened on one side from the way he slept on his pillows, clothes rumpled and haphazardly thrown on his body, and a green backpack slung over his shoulder.
“Hey,” Jensen greeted, stepping inside so that he could close the door against the Vancouver chill. The dogs barked and jumped at him, and he patted them gently, setting his backpack down on the floor and tossing his coat over the arm of a nearby chair. He turned to look at Jared, hand coming to rest on his shoulder. “Dude, what’s going on with you?”
“Nothing,” Jared said, clearing his throat. “I just had a bad dream.”
“Okay,” Jensen started, not taking his eyes off of Jared, “So what happened in this dream of yours?”
“I think this episode’s just getting to me.” He looked at Jensen, who stared back at him expectantly, arms folding over his chest, and he thanked God for such a good friend. “You died,” he said quietly. “It was the whole thing, waking up to the alarm clock, going through the day, and then you dying. Except it was you, and not Dean.”
“Hey, hey,” Jensen said, his tone comforting, hand squeezing Jared’s shoulder. Jared looked up, and Jensen offered him a sympathetic smile. “I’m right here.” Jared wrapped him up in a hug, tight, Jensen’s hands rubbing into his back. “Must’ve been really bad, huh?” Jared nodded against Jensen’s shoulder.
“It was.” He held Jensen a little tighter, closing his eyes. “You know you’re my best friend, right?” Jensen pulled away then, concerned.
“Yeah, Jared. You’re mine, too.” Jared smiled sadly, and he saw Jensen’s concern grow to a deeper worry in his eyes. “Maybe we should see if we can get you a break. You know, instead of wrapping up today, we just get you a day or two off and finish up when you’re ready.”
“No.” Jared shook his head. “No, I’d rather just get it done now.”
“It’s not like there’s a rush on this one,” Jensen reminded him. “And your health is worth more than that. I’m not gonna have you having some kind of mental breakdown on set because you pushed to get through one more day of filming.”
“It’s just one more day.” Jared insisted. “I can do it.” Jensen eyed him warily.
“You sure? Because we could buy some time on this. I know you’re supposed to head out to Sandy, but maybe she can come to you first. You can hang out here and just relax for a couple days.”
“I don’t care about San-” Jared stopped himself short, feeling about as shocked as Jensen looked by the words coming out of his mouth. The tone was worse, half dismissive and half angry, because he was sick of the repetition of the past few days, and because his main concern was Jensen, now. He collected himself and tried to appear calm when he spoke again. “I appreciate it, man, I do,” he said sincerely. “But I’m fine. Please, let’s just do this.”
“Okay,” Jensen said, hesitating before nodding. “Well, why don’t you go get a shower and chill? I’ll take the dogs out real quick and catch one when I get back.” He nudged at his backpack with the toe of his shoe, and Jared nodded.
“Sounds good. Thanks.”
“Oh! And, uh…” Jensen picked up his coat again, searching the pockets for something. “You left this on my coffee table,” he said, handing over Jared’s wallet. “Figured you might need it.”
“Yeah, I do. Thanks, man,” Jared said, offering him a smile. “I’m gonna go get that shower now. Think I need it.”
****
“I still don’t think this is a good idea,” Jensen said after they’d climbed in the car with the dogs. Jared ignored him, eyes wide and focused on Clif, his heart pounding in his chest as a sudden rage began to fill him. The green of Clif’s shirt stood out in the car, and Jared continued to stare, Clif returning the stare in the rearview mirror with an amused and knowing look. “Jared?” Jensen asked, looking between Jared and Clif questioningly, Sadie once again planting herself in Jensen’s lap, her green collar standing out against her light brown fur.
“Read your line,” Jared ordered sharply, pulling out his script and flipping to the scenes they were supposed to film that day. Jensen’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t say anything else, just ran lines with Jared on the way to set.
Jensen jumped out of the car as soon as they got there, “coffee” the only word he said as he rushed off to get himself caffeinated. Jared turned on Clif, doing his best to pin the big man against the car.
“Jared??” Clif stared at him in confusion and maybe even fear, and Jared shook his head angrily.
“Don’t you fuck with me,” he growled, anger boiling beneath his skin. “You already gave yourself away. I know who you are.”
“Well,” Clif began, a slow smile spreading across his face, “It’s about time.”
Jared stared in disbelief as Clif began to change form within his grasp, a very familiar face staring back at him seconds later. Those same laughing eyes, that same taunting smile…
“Richard??” Jared gasped, still in shock, and Richard laughed.
“What? You thought I’d just finish my scenes and leave? Come on! With something as sweet as this going on, I couldn’t just let it go.”
“Wait, but…You’re really...” Jared stammered, completely thrown off and not sure where to start, his anger slipping in his surprise. “What do you mean? What’s going on?”
“To answer your first question,” Richard said, holding up one finger, “Yes, I am actually the Trickster. To answer your second question,” he held up another finger and rolled his eyes, “Have you learned nothing?”
“What are you talking about?” Jared asked, shaking his head. “Why are you doing this?”
“How did you know that I was causing all this?” Richard asked, answering Jared’s question with a question.
“Your shirt,” Jared answered simply. “You never changed your shirt before.”
“Actually,” Richard grinned, “I did. Those first three days, I wore a different shirt every time, but you only noticed this one. You only noticed the green. What do you think that says about you?”
“What?” Jared thought back to those first three days, unable to picture the shirts Clif had worn then. “I don’t understand. What does this have to do with Jensen? And does this mean that Clif is-”
“Clif is fine,” Richard said, still grinning. “He’ll be back to his day job soon enough. And this has nothing to do with Jensen!” He grew more serious then. “Or maybe it has everything to do with Jensen. Right, Jared?” Jared shook his head again, squeezing his eyes shut against the headache pulsing in his brain.
“Look, I don’t know what this is, I don’t know what you’re getting at, but you have to stop.” He stared Richard down then, threatening him. “I do know how to kill you.”
“You’re about as dense as Sam,” Richard sneered, then shrugged nonchalantly. “But, fine. You’re sick of Tuesdays? You don’t have to worry about that anymore. You know where to find me, if you need me. I am an actor, after all.” He smiled and snapped his fingers.
Blue on black
Tears on a river
Push on a shove
It don’t mean much
Jared woke to the green of Sadie’s new collar, the sun filtering through the curtains in his bedroom.
Joker on jack
Match on a fire
Cold on ice
A dead mans touch
He sat up and looked at his alarm clock. It was Wednesday, and much later than he’d woken up before. He thought about Clif, about Richard, still not making sense of what the Trickster had said.
Whisper on a scream
Doesn’t change a thing
Don’t bring you back
He turned the alarm clock off, and reached for his phone, dialing Jensen’s number. Jensen picked up much quicker than he had on those early Tuesday mornings, his mood greatly improved.
“Jared! Thought you might sleep in even later than this. How’re you feeling? You were pretty out of it last night.”
“Yeah,” Jared breathed, relieved to hear Jensen so upbeat. “Yeah, I must’ve been. You know, I…I don’t even remember coming home.”
“Didn’t think you would. You were exhausted, man. ‘Specially after that dream freaked you out, I guess. I practically had to carry you into your house and into bed.”
“Must’ve been rough,” Jared laughed, picturing Jensen cursing his way up the stairs with Jared’s form draped over him. “Guess I owe you one.”
“How ‘bout you just buy me a big, juicy steak when we get back?”
“Deal,” Jared said, grinning. He heard the sound of a suitcase being zipped up, and his heart clenched at the thought of Jensen leaving. He fought the urge to tell him to stay. “You getting ready to head out, man?”
“Yeah, on my way to LA.”
“Alright, well have a safe trip.”
“Yeah, you too.”
He hung up and went through the morning routine. He ran the dogs, trying to run off the worry still in the pit of his stomach. After all, he knew how the episode had gone. Just because it was Wednesday didn’t mean Jensen wouldn’t die again.
He got back to his house and slowly began packing his things. He knew he had a flight scheduled to get out of Vancouver, and Sandy had left him messages asking when she could expect him. He ignored them, telling himself he’d call her back later.
“Later” was forgotten when he picked up another call in a few hours’ time, and he mechanically sat down on his couch and turned the TV on, the news broadcasting what someone had called to tell him. Jensen’s plane had gone down.
****
It took two months to catch up with Richard; two months without Jensen. It was true that he was easier to find than the Trickster in the episode had been. He led a normal life as Richard Speight, Jr., an actor with managers, agents. He had people. And when you have people, you’re relatively easy to pin down. Unless, of course, you’re busy, or you don’t want to be found. Then, all of your people refuse to give others a direct line to you. You’re working on a project, you’re meeting with someone, whatever BS story they can come up with, they use it.
But Richard was just toying with him. Jared knew that. He knew it, because, when he did finally catch up with the Trickster, it was all too easy. A friendly phone call to set up a meeting, and he was in. He came prepared, stake and all. Two months ago, he’d lost everything, his world crashing down around him. He’d been at Jensen’s funeral, been there to bury him. And then everything else lost its importance. People worried about him. His family and Sandy called him, begging him to talk to them, to get help. They loved him. But Jensen was…
Jared walked up to Richard’s house and rang the doorbell, hoping that this was it; that this would help him to get Jensen back. Richard himself opened the door, all smiles as usual.
“Jared! Come on in!”
“Enough with the pleasantries,” Jared muttered, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. “You know why I’m here. You know what you’ve done.”
“Right, Jensen,” Richard nodded and shrugged, still smiling. “I’m guessing you want me to bring him back?”
“That’s what I want,” Jared said, pulling the blood-tipped stake from his sleeve, “But I already know what to do if you won’t.”
“Whoa, hey!” Richard stepped back, hands held up, suddenly serious. “The blood of a victim, Jared? Looks like you’ve got a dark side to you, too.”
“It’s mine,” Jared explained, advancing on him. “I’m the one you put through the time loop. I’m pretty sure that makes me a victim.”
“You’re smarter than I gave you credit for,” Richard joked, backing up further.
“Just tell me why,” Jared demanded. “Before this goes any further, tell me why. We’ve never done anything to you.”
“Let’s see,” Richard said, furrowing his brow and pretending to think hard. “What’s my line again? Oh! ‘There’s a lesson here.’ I’ll spare you the insult that comes after that. I think you’re angry enough, already.”
“Lesson?” Jared asked, loosening his posture a bit. “What lesson?”
“Good to know you can still keep up with the script.” Richard began to pace the room, and Jared let him, watching him as he walked. “You’re always missing the obvious, Jared.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” Richard sighed, “How do you feel about Jensen? What is he to you?”
“He’s my best friend,” Jared answered automatically. “He’s like…like a brother.” Richard gave him an exasperated look.
“Is that all you’ve got after losing him over and over again? After living without him for two months?”
“Okay, what the hell are you talking about?!” Jared fumed, throwing his hands up. “God, none of this makes any damn sense, you fucking freak!”
“Ouch!” Richard laughed. “That almost hurt. Tell me Jared, when’s the last time you talked to your girlfriend?”
Jared stood, mouth hanging open. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually talked to Sandy. He knew it was wrong, knew she was supposed to be his top priority, but…
“Oh, God.” Jared swallowed roughly, emotions beginning to well up in his chest. “Jesus Christ. Is that what this is about? What, you read some fanfiction, and now you think I’m in love with him?”
“Aren’t you?” Richard asked, and Jared felt his head swimming with the realization, his heart ready to burst. “He’s the center of your life, Jared! Everything revolves around him. Even a lowly guest star like me can see that. But you keep denying it, keep missing the obvious, even when it’s right in front of your face.” Jared kept silent, shaking his head, tears slowly spilling over his cheeks. “So, losing him didn’t feel like losing everything?” Richard continued, moving closer. “You didn’t want to keep him from leaving you? You didn’t abandon everyone and everything just to get him back?” He paused, switching gears, and Jared felt like the curtains had just been pulled back for him. “He didn’t come to you every time you called? He didn’t come to you even when you didn’t? He didn’t offer to stop everything and put his own life on hold just to take care of you?”
“He never said anything,” Jared choked out.
“Neither did you,” Richard pointed out. “Besides, you were with somebody. Who was he to break up a relationship?”
“I…I don’t,” Jared stammered, caught off guard by his own emotions. “I love Sandy.”
“Loved,” Richard replied. “Past tense. People change, Jared. You said yourself that you don’t care about her.”
Jared stood in silence for a few moments. He had said that, and he’d still managed to brush it off. He wouldn’t allow it to be true, even if it was. And it was. It made him feel terrible, but Jensen meant more to him, now. Jensen was…Jensen was everything.
“I don’t understand,” Jared said finally. “Why didn’t you just…I don’t know, talk to me, talk to us? Why did you have to do this?”
“Well, for one thing, it’s a lot more fun to do things this way,” Richard said, smiling. “And, for another, you were clearly so far in denial that something as simple as you’re suggesting wouldn’t have worked. Somebody had to wake you up somehow. But, don’t worry!” He shrugged again, chuckling lightly. “It was all in good fun!”
“So, you’ll bring him back?” Jared asked, fighting his rising anger at Richard thinking of killing Jensen as fun. Richard smirked, hand held up in front of him.
“Lesson learned.”
He snapped his fingers.
Blue on black
Tears on a river
Push on a shove
It don’t mean much
Jared woke to the green of Sadie’s new collar, the sun filtering through the curtains in his bedroom.
Joker on jack
Match on a fire
Cold on ice
A dead mans touch
He sat up and looked at his alarm clock. It was Wednesday.
Whisper on a scream
Doesn’t change a thing
Don’t bring you back
He turned the alarm clock off, and reached for his phone, dialing Jensen’s number. Jensen picked up quick, his mood the same as it had been the last time.
“Jared! Thought you might sleep in even later than this. How’re you feeling? You were pretty out of it last night.”
“Yeah,” Jared breathed, trying to keep his emotions under control. Just hearing Jensen’s voice again felt like a miracle. “Yeah, I must’ve been. I don’t even remember coming home.”
“Didn’t think you would. You were exhausted, man. ‘Specially after that dream freaked you out, I guess. I practically had to carry you into your house and into bed.”
“Must’ve been rough,” Jared said, aching to see Jensen, to be in the same room with him. “Guess I owe you one.”
“How ‘bout you just buy me a big, juicy steak when we get back?” He heard the sound of a suitcase being zipped up, and his heart clenched at the thought of Jensen leaving.
“How ‘bout I buy you one tonight?” He asked, letting the silence between them linger as Jensen got his thoughts together.
“I…Jared. I can’t, dude.” He heard Jensen laugh nervously. “I’m getting ready to head out.”
“I know, but…don’t,” Jared blurted out, cursing himself for sounding so stupid. “Just…don’t go to LA. Don’t leave.” He heard the sound of Jensen sitting down heavily on his mattress.
“Why not?” Jensen’s voice was low, tentative.
“Because I want you to stay.” If Jared had learned anything from his experience, it was that you had to make every second count in life. Honesty was the way to go. He couldn’t waste time dancing around anything anymore.
“…Jared, can I call you back?”
“Yeah,” Jared said, deflating. Somehow, that hadn’t been the answer he’d wanted. “Yeah, sure.”
He hung up, expecting a call back, but the call never came. Sighing heavily, he pulled himself up out of bed. The morning routine gave him something to do while he contemplated what to say when he called Jensen back; splash water on face, look at self in mirror, piss, look at self in mirror, keep hands from shaking, brush teeth, dress-
The doorbell ringing sent the dogs into a barking frenzy, the two of them running to the front door, and Jared nearly jumped out of his skin. He followed them, unlocking the door and opening it. Jensen stood on the other side, eyes wide with hope and nervousness, hair perfectly groomed, clothes clean and pressed, and cologne drifting pleasantly off of his body.
“Hey,” Jensen greeted, stepping inside so that he could close the door against the Vancouver chill. The dogs barked and jumped at him, and he patted them gently, tossing his coat over the arm of a nearby chair. He turned to look at Jared, shifting on his feet. “So…I, uh…I canceled my flight,” he said, clearing his throat.
“Jensen,” Jared whispered, just staring at him, fighting back tears, so grateful to have him back. He stepped closer, wordlessly wrapping Jensen up in a hug, tight, Jensen’s hands rubbing into his back. Jared didn’t move away when he released Jensen, but stayed close, their bodies merely inches apart. It was then that he realized what Richard had meant when he said that Jared always missed the obvious; when he asked Jared what it said about him, for him to only notice the green shirt he wore. “Green,” he muttered, staring into Jensen’s eyes.
“What?” Jensen asked, half confused, half caught up in the two of them being so close. Jared smiled a little.
“Your eyes are green.” All that time, every other green object had caught Jared’s attention; even the green in Sadie’s collar when she was sitting right in Jensen’s lap. It was a sign that he’d been ignoring, even though he’d looked at Jensen every day, saw his eyes frozen open in death. It was surprising, how deep denial could run.
“Always have been, dude,” Jensen said, smiling.
“Jensen,” Jared said again, quietly, his hands coming up to frame Jensen’s face, and Jensen grew serious again. “Jensen, I’m…” He leaned in further, and Jensen stopped him, their foreheads resting together, both of them breathing quickly.
“Jared, you…You’re with Sandy,” Jensen said, his voice pained, struggling so much against his own urges.
“No,” Jared said, moving to kiss Jensen’s forehead, his cheek. “No. I’m with you.” He moved towards Jensen’s lips, and Jensen pulled away again, breath coming even more heavily, face flushed.
“Are you sure?” he breathed. He looked up at Jared, eyes like green flame, and Jared almost couldn’t keep up with the pace his heart was setting. “I won’t be able to stop.”
“I don’t want you to.”
****
Jared reached over Jensen for the alarm clock, making sure it was already turned off, and then pulled the sheets up higher. When he woke again, the first thing he saw was the green of Jensen’s eyes. It was Thursday.
Fandom: RPS
Characters: Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki
Prompt: 014. Green.
fanfic100 table: here
Word Count: 11,182
Rating: R
Warnings: Recurring deaths, which of course leads to angst.
Summary: While filming Mystery Spot, Jared becomes a victim of the Trickster, and the script suddenly applies to real life. There’s a lesson to be learned, here. Jared just needs to figure out what that lesson is.
Disclaimer: Fiction: an imaginative creation or a pretense that does not represent actuality but has been invented.
Author's Notes: For some reason, I keep coming up with ideas where crap that happens on the show actually happens to J2. I’m sure it’s getting old, but…I wrote this, anyway. I kind of thought No Place Like Home was my answer to Jensen going through Supernatural crap in Forty-Three Days, and I did kind of like throwing Jared into a situation where he ended up meeting Sam and Dean and the conflicts between their personalities. But I somehow thought this up for this prompt, and I think this is more of Jared’s parallel story to Forty-Three Days. Maybe. Or I’m just on crack. :P
Part 1
made by ala_tariel
This shit is bananas
B A N A N A S
Jared shot up in bed, seeing a flash of Sadie’s new green collar as the dogs scattered from either side of him.
Again, this shit is bananas
B A N A N A S
His chest was heaving, tears rolling down his cheeks. He would never get over the memory of killing Jensen, the feel of his fist connecting with Jensen’s head and the sound of Jensen’s skull smacking against the door haunting him even now.
This shit is bananas
B A N A N A S
Jared grabbed the alarm clock and threw it across the room, the music stopping as the object shattered against the wall. He threw back the covers and made it two steps out of bed before he fell to his knees.
“STOP!” he screamed, long and loud, lifting his head and staring up at the ceiling, as if the trickster that was causing this could hear him. The morning routine was forgotten again that day as he stalked down the stairs, the dogs trailing behind, and threw open his front door, stepping out into the Vancouver cold in nothing but his boxers. “WHERE ARE YOU?!” he shouted, lifting his head to the barely lit sky and spreading his arms. “SHOW YOURSELF!” He heard doors opening, heard neighbors speaking and gasping, but he didn’t care. “I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE! I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING! SHOW YOURSELF!”
It wasn’t a surprise when the cops were called, and it wasn’t a surprise when Jensen showed up as well, speaking calmly to the cops and insisting that they let him talk to Jared to try and calm him down.
“Hey,” Jensen said carefully, slowly walking over to him, hands held up in peace. Jensen’s hair was still mussed and flattened on one side from the way he slept on his pillows, clothes rumpled and haphazardly thrown on his body, a green backpack slung over his shoulder. “Dude, what’s going on with you?”
“You wouldn’t understand,” Jared said, fresh tears already springing to his eyes at the thought of having to watch Jensen die again.
“Try me,” Jensen said gently. “You know me. You know I can help you. Here, I even brought you your walle-”
Jensen reached into the pocket of his coat, and that was all it took for one trigger-happy cop to assume that he was packing, one well-placed shot to the back enough to dull Jensen’s eyes and send him crashing to the ground in front of Jared, blood pouring from the wound.
This shit is bananas
B A N A N A S
Jared groaned, his hand covering his face before he even opened his eyes. When he did lower his hand and open his eyes, the first thing he saw was the green of Sadie’s new collar.
Again, this shit is bananas
B A N A N A S
He sat up slowly this time, gently ushering the dogs out of the bed. He sat, thinking and wondering why Sam had never gotten to the point where he just offed himself instead of living the hell of watching Dean die over and over again; not even after 100 Tuesdays. Losing Jensen felt like losing everything, every single time.
This shit is bananas
B A N A N A S
He reached over and turned the alarm clock off and thought up the answer to his own question: Sam was determined to save Dean, no matter what it took. He could watch Dean die 100 times, but know that he was stuck in a loop for a reason, and would still try to figure out how to stop it and how to keep his brother alive.
Jared picked up his cell phone and dialed Jensen’s number. He’d keep trying, but if he couldn’t keep Jensen from dying, he could at least spend as much time with him as he could and make every minute count.
“Motherfucker…WHAT?!”
“Hey, man, sorry for calling so early.” Jared did his best to sound lighthearted, but it was so damn hard. “You kiss your mother with that mouth?”
“Aw, blow me, Jared.” Jared actually smiled a little at that. He wished he could keep smiling, keep the banter going, but he couldn’t.
“Listen, uh…I know that it’s early, and this is kind of coming out of nowhere, but do you think you could come over?” He heard the rustling of sheets on a bed, and knew that Jensen was moving into a sitting position.
“…Now?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m just…I’m a little freaked out right now, and I could use the company.”
“Yeah.” Jared heard Jensen getting up out of bed, heard drawers opening as Jensen searched for clothes. “Yeah, sure. Just gimme a few minutes, okay? Mind if I shower at your place?”
“Yeah, whatever you have to do. Just get here.” He hung up and ran a hand through his hair, pulling himself up out of bed. He went through the morning routine: wash face, piss, brush teeth, dress.
The doorbell ringing sent the dogs into a barking frenzy, the two of them running to the front door, and he followed, unlocking the door and opening it. Jensen stood on the other side, eyelids still heavy with sleep, hair still mussed and flattened on one side from the way he slept on his pillows, clothes rumpled and haphazardly thrown on his body, and a green backpack slung over his shoulder.
“Hey,” Jensen greeted, stepping inside so that he could close the door against the Vancouver chill. The dogs barked and jumped at him, and he patted them gently, setting his backpack down on the floor and tossing his coat over the arm of a nearby chair. He turned to look at Jared, hand coming to rest on his shoulder. “Dude, what’s going on with you?”
“Nothing,” Jared said, clearing his throat. “I just had a bad dream.”
“Okay,” Jensen started, not taking his eyes off of Jared, “So what happened in this dream of yours?”
“I think this episode’s just getting to me.” He looked at Jensen, who stared back at him expectantly, arms folding over his chest, and he thanked God for such a good friend. “You died,” he said quietly. “It was the whole thing, waking up to the alarm clock, going through the day, and then you dying. Except it was you, and not Dean.”
“Hey, hey,” Jensen said, his tone comforting, hand squeezing Jared’s shoulder. Jared looked up, and Jensen offered him a sympathetic smile. “I’m right here.” Jared wrapped him up in a hug, tight, Jensen’s hands rubbing into his back. “Must’ve been really bad, huh?” Jared nodded against Jensen’s shoulder.
“It was.” He held Jensen a little tighter, closing his eyes. “You know you’re my best friend, right?” Jensen pulled away then, concerned.
“Yeah, Jared. You’re mine, too.” Jared smiled sadly, and he saw Jensen’s concern grow to a deeper worry in his eyes. “Maybe we should see if we can get you a break. You know, instead of wrapping up today, we just get you a day or two off and finish up when you’re ready.”
“No.” Jared shook his head. “No, I’d rather just get it done now.”
“It’s not like there’s a rush on this one,” Jensen reminded him. “And your health is worth more than that. I’m not gonna have you having some kind of mental breakdown on set because you pushed to get through one more day of filming.”
“It’s just one more day.” Jared insisted. “I can do it.” Jensen eyed him warily.
“You sure? Because we could buy some time on this. I know you’re supposed to head out to Sandy, but maybe she can come to you first. You can hang out here and just relax for a couple days.”
“I don’t care about San-” Jared stopped himself short, feeling about as shocked as Jensen looked by the words coming out of his mouth. The tone was worse, half dismissive and half angry, because he was sick of the repetition of the past few days, and because his main concern was Jensen, now. He collected himself and tried to appear calm when he spoke again. “I appreciate it, man, I do,” he said sincerely. “But I’m fine. Please, let’s just do this.”
“Okay,” Jensen said, hesitating before nodding. “Well, why don’t you go get a shower and chill? I’ll take the dogs out real quick and catch one when I get back.” He nudged at his backpack with the toe of his shoe, and Jared nodded.
“Sounds good. Thanks.”
“Oh! And, uh…” Jensen picked up his coat again, searching the pockets for something. “You left this on my coffee table,” he said, handing over Jared’s wallet. “Figured you might need it.”
“Yeah, I do. Thanks, man,” Jared said, offering him a smile. “I’m gonna go get that shower now. Think I need it.”
****
“I still don’t think this is a good idea,” Jensen said after they’d climbed in the car with the dogs. Jared ignored him, eyes wide and focused on Clif, his heart pounding in his chest as a sudden rage began to fill him. The green of Clif’s shirt stood out in the car, and Jared continued to stare, Clif returning the stare in the rearview mirror with an amused and knowing look. “Jared?” Jensen asked, looking between Jared and Clif questioningly, Sadie once again planting herself in Jensen’s lap, her green collar standing out against her light brown fur.
“Read your line,” Jared ordered sharply, pulling out his script and flipping to the scenes they were supposed to film that day. Jensen’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t say anything else, just ran lines with Jared on the way to set.
Jensen jumped out of the car as soon as they got there, “coffee” the only word he said as he rushed off to get himself caffeinated. Jared turned on Clif, doing his best to pin the big man against the car.
“Jared??” Clif stared at him in confusion and maybe even fear, and Jared shook his head angrily.
“Don’t you fuck with me,” he growled, anger boiling beneath his skin. “You already gave yourself away. I know who you are.”
“Well,” Clif began, a slow smile spreading across his face, “It’s about time.”
Jared stared in disbelief as Clif began to change form within his grasp, a very familiar face staring back at him seconds later. Those same laughing eyes, that same taunting smile…
“Richard??” Jared gasped, still in shock, and Richard laughed.
“What? You thought I’d just finish my scenes and leave? Come on! With something as sweet as this going on, I couldn’t just let it go.”
“Wait, but…You’re really...” Jared stammered, completely thrown off and not sure where to start, his anger slipping in his surprise. “What do you mean? What’s going on?”
“To answer your first question,” Richard said, holding up one finger, “Yes, I am actually the Trickster. To answer your second question,” he held up another finger and rolled his eyes, “Have you learned nothing?”
“What are you talking about?” Jared asked, shaking his head. “Why are you doing this?”
“How did you know that I was causing all this?” Richard asked, answering Jared’s question with a question.
“Your shirt,” Jared answered simply. “You never changed your shirt before.”
“Actually,” Richard grinned, “I did. Those first three days, I wore a different shirt every time, but you only noticed this one. You only noticed the green. What do you think that says about you?”
“What?” Jared thought back to those first three days, unable to picture the shirts Clif had worn then. “I don’t understand. What does this have to do with Jensen? And does this mean that Clif is-”
“Clif is fine,” Richard said, still grinning. “He’ll be back to his day job soon enough. And this has nothing to do with Jensen!” He grew more serious then. “Or maybe it has everything to do with Jensen. Right, Jared?” Jared shook his head again, squeezing his eyes shut against the headache pulsing in his brain.
“Look, I don’t know what this is, I don’t know what you’re getting at, but you have to stop.” He stared Richard down then, threatening him. “I do know how to kill you.”
“You’re about as dense as Sam,” Richard sneered, then shrugged nonchalantly. “But, fine. You’re sick of Tuesdays? You don’t have to worry about that anymore. You know where to find me, if you need me. I am an actor, after all.” He smiled and snapped his fingers.
Blue on black
Tears on a river
Push on a shove
It don’t mean much
Jared woke to the green of Sadie’s new collar, the sun filtering through the curtains in his bedroom.
Joker on jack
Match on a fire
Cold on ice
A dead mans touch
He sat up and looked at his alarm clock. It was Wednesday, and much later than he’d woken up before. He thought about Clif, about Richard, still not making sense of what the Trickster had said.
Whisper on a scream
Doesn’t change a thing
Don’t bring you back
He turned the alarm clock off, and reached for his phone, dialing Jensen’s number. Jensen picked up much quicker than he had on those early Tuesday mornings, his mood greatly improved.
“Jared! Thought you might sleep in even later than this. How’re you feeling? You were pretty out of it last night.”
“Yeah,” Jared breathed, relieved to hear Jensen so upbeat. “Yeah, I must’ve been. You know, I…I don’t even remember coming home.”
“Didn’t think you would. You were exhausted, man. ‘Specially after that dream freaked you out, I guess. I practically had to carry you into your house and into bed.”
“Must’ve been rough,” Jared laughed, picturing Jensen cursing his way up the stairs with Jared’s form draped over him. “Guess I owe you one.”
“How ‘bout you just buy me a big, juicy steak when we get back?”
“Deal,” Jared said, grinning. He heard the sound of a suitcase being zipped up, and his heart clenched at the thought of Jensen leaving. He fought the urge to tell him to stay. “You getting ready to head out, man?”
“Yeah, on my way to LA.”
“Alright, well have a safe trip.”
“Yeah, you too.”
He hung up and went through the morning routine. He ran the dogs, trying to run off the worry still in the pit of his stomach. After all, he knew how the episode had gone. Just because it was Wednesday didn’t mean Jensen wouldn’t die again.
He got back to his house and slowly began packing his things. He knew he had a flight scheduled to get out of Vancouver, and Sandy had left him messages asking when she could expect him. He ignored them, telling himself he’d call her back later.
“Later” was forgotten when he picked up another call in a few hours’ time, and he mechanically sat down on his couch and turned the TV on, the news broadcasting what someone had called to tell him. Jensen’s plane had gone down.
****
It took two months to catch up with Richard; two months without Jensen. It was true that he was easier to find than the Trickster in the episode had been. He led a normal life as Richard Speight, Jr., an actor with managers, agents. He had people. And when you have people, you’re relatively easy to pin down. Unless, of course, you’re busy, or you don’t want to be found. Then, all of your people refuse to give others a direct line to you. You’re working on a project, you’re meeting with someone, whatever BS story they can come up with, they use it.
But Richard was just toying with him. Jared knew that. He knew it, because, when he did finally catch up with the Trickster, it was all too easy. A friendly phone call to set up a meeting, and he was in. He came prepared, stake and all. Two months ago, he’d lost everything, his world crashing down around him. He’d been at Jensen’s funeral, been there to bury him. And then everything else lost its importance. People worried about him. His family and Sandy called him, begging him to talk to them, to get help. They loved him. But Jensen was…
Jared walked up to Richard’s house and rang the doorbell, hoping that this was it; that this would help him to get Jensen back. Richard himself opened the door, all smiles as usual.
“Jared! Come on in!”
“Enough with the pleasantries,” Jared muttered, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. “You know why I’m here. You know what you’ve done.”
“Right, Jensen,” Richard nodded and shrugged, still smiling. “I’m guessing you want me to bring him back?”
“That’s what I want,” Jared said, pulling the blood-tipped stake from his sleeve, “But I already know what to do if you won’t.”
“Whoa, hey!” Richard stepped back, hands held up, suddenly serious. “The blood of a victim, Jared? Looks like you’ve got a dark side to you, too.”
“It’s mine,” Jared explained, advancing on him. “I’m the one you put through the time loop. I’m pretty sure that makes me a victim.”
“You’re smarter than I gave you credit for,” Richard joked, backing up further.
“Just tell me why,” Jared demanded. “Before this goes any further, tell me why. We’ve never done anything to you.”
“Let’s see,” Richard said, furrowing his brow and pretending to think hard. “What’s my line again? Oh! ‘There’s a lesson here.’ I’ll spare you the insult that comes after that. I think you’re angry enough, already.”
“Lesson?” Jared asked, loosening his posture a bit. “What lesson?”
“Good to know you can still keep up with the script.” Richard began to pace the room, and Jared let him, watching him as he walked. “You’re always missing the obvious, Jared.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” Richard sighed, “How do you feel about Jensen? What is he to you?”
“He’s my best friend,” Jared answered automatically. “He’s like…like a brother.” Richard gave him an exasperated look.
“Is that all you’ve got after losing him over and over again? After living without him for two months?”
“Okay, what the hell are you talking about?!” Jared fumed, throwing his hands up. “God, none of this makes any damn sense, you fucking freak!”
“Ouch!” Richard laughed. “That almost hurt. Tell me Jared, when’s the last time you talked to your girlfriend?”
Jared stood, mouth hanging open. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually talked to Sandy. He knew it was wrong, knew she was supposed to be his top priority, but…
“Oh, God.” Jared swallowed roughly, emotions beginning to well up in his chest. “Jesus Christ. Is that what this is about? What, you read some fanfiction, and now you think I’m in love with him?”
“Aren’t you?” Richard asked, and Jared felt his head swimming with the realization, his heart ready to burst. “He’s the center of your life, Jared! Everything revolves around him. Even a lowly guest star like me can see that. But you keep denying it, keep missing the obvious, even when it’s right in front of your face.” Jared kept silent, shaking his head, tears slowly spilling over his cheeks. “So, losing him didn’t feel like losing everything?” Richard continued, moving closer. “You didn’t want to keep him from leaving you? You didn’t abandon everyone and everything just to get him back?” He paused, switching gears, and Jared felt like the curtains had just been pulled back for him. “He didn’t come to you every time you called? He didn’t come to you even when you didn’t? He didn’t offer to stop everything and put his own life on hold just to take care of you?”
“He never said anything,” Jared choked out.
“Neither did you,” Richard pointed out. “Besides, you were with somebody. Who was he to break up a relationship?”
“I…I don’t,” Jared stammered, caught off guard by his own emotions. “I love Sandy.”
“Loved,” Richard replied. “Past tense. People change, Jared. You said yourself that you don’t care about her.”
Jared stood in silence for a few moments. He had said that, and he’d still managed to brush it off. He wouldn’t allow it to be true, even if it was. And it was. It made him feel terrible, but Jensen meant more to him, now. Jensen was…Jensen was everything.
“I don’t understand,” Jared said finally. “Why didn’t you just…I don’t know, talk to me, talk to us? Why did you have to do this?”
“Well, for one thing, it’s a lot more fun to do things this way,” Richard said, smiling. “And, for another, you were clearly so far in denial that something as simple as you’re suggesting wouldn’t have worked. Somebody had to wake you up somehow. But, don’t worry!” He shrugged again, chuckling lightly. “It was all in good fun!”
“So, you’ll bring him back?” Jared asked, fighting his rising anger at Richard thinking of killing Jensen as fun. Richard smirked, hand held up in front of him.
“Lesson learned.”
He snapped his fingers.
Blue on black
Tears on a river
Push on a shove
It don’t mean much
Jared woke to the green of Sadie’s new collar, the sun filtering through the curtains in his bedroom.
Joker on jack
Match on a fire
Cold on ice
A dead mans touch
He sat up and looked at his alarm clock. It was Wednesday.
Whisper on a scream
Doesn’t change a thing
Don’t bring you back
He turned the alarm clock off, and reached for his phone, dialing Jensen’s number. Jensen picked up quick, his mood the same as it had been the last time.
“Jared! Thought you might sleep in even later than this. How’re you feeling? You were pretty out of it last night.”
“Yeah,” Jared breathed, trying to keep his emotions under control. Just hearing Jensen’s voice again felt like a miracle. “Yeah, I must’ve been. I don’t even remember coming home.”
“Didn’t think you would. You were exhausted, man. ‘Specially after that dream freaked you out, I guess. I practically had to carry you into your house and into bed.”
“Must’ve been rough,” Jared said, aching to see Jensen, to be in the same room with him. “Guess I owe you one.”
“How ‘bout you just buy me a big, juicy steak when we get back?” He heard the sound of a suitcase being zipped up, and his heart clenched at the thought of Jensen leaving.
“How ‘bout I buy you one tonight?” He asked, letting the silence between them linger as Jensen got his thoughts together.
“I…Jared. I can’t, dude.” He heard Jensen laugh nervously. “I’m getting ready to head out.”
“I know, but…don’t,” Jared blurted out, cursing himself for sounding so stupid. “Just…don’t go to LA. Don’t leave.” He heard the sound of Jensen sitting down heavily on his mattress.
“Why not?” Jensen’s voice was low, tentative.
“Because I want you to stay.” If Jared had learned anything from his experience, it was that you had to make every second count in life. Honesty was the way to go. He couldn’t waste time dancing around anything anymore.
“…Jared, can I call you back?”
“Yeah,” Jared said, deflating. Somehow, that hadn’t been the answer he’d wanted. “Yeah, sure.”
He hung up, expecting a call back, but the call never came. Sighing heavily, he pulled himself up out of bed. The morning routine gave him something to do while he contemplated what to say when he called Jensen back; splash water on face, look at self in mirror, piss, look at self in mirror, keep hands from shaking, brush teeth, dress-
The doorbell ringing sent the dogs into a barking frenzy, the two of them running to the front door, and Jared nearly jumped out of his skin. He followed them, unlocking the door and opening it. Jensen stood on the other side, eyes wide with hope and nervousness, hair perfectly groomed, clothes clean and pressed, and cologne drifting pleasantly off of his body.
“Hey,” Jensen greeted, stepping inside so that he could close the door against the Vancouver chill. The dogs barked and jumped at him, and he patted them gently, tossing his coat over the arm of a nearby chair. He turned to look at Jared, shifting on his feet. “So…I, uh…I canceled my flight,” he said, clearing his throat.
“Jensen,” Jared whispered, just staring at him, fighting back tears, so grateful to have him back. He stepped closer, wordlessly wrapping Jensen up in a hug, tight, Jensen’s hands rubbing into his back. Jared didn’t move away when he released Jensen, but stayed close, their bodies merely inches apart. It was then that he realized what Richard had meant when he said that Jared always missed the obvious; when he asked Jared what it said about him, for him to only notice the green shirt he wore. “Green,” he muttered, staring into Jensen’s eyes.
“What?” Jensen asked, half confused, half caught up in the two of them being so close. Jared smiled a little.
“Your eyes are green.” All that time, every other green object had caught Jared’s attention; even the green in Sadie’s collar when she was sitting right in Jensen’s lap. It was a sign that he’d been ignoring, even though he’d looked at Jensen every day, saw his eyes frozen open in death. It was surprising, how deep denial could run.
“Always have been, dude,” Jensen said, smiling.
“Jensen,” Jared said again, quietly, his hands coming up to frame Jensen’s face, and Jensen grew serious again. “Jensen, I’m…” He leaned in further, and Jensen stopped him, their foreheads resting together, both of them breathing quickly.
“Jared, you…You’re with Sandy,” Jensen said, his voice pained, struggling so much against his own urges.
“No,” Jared said, moving to kiss Jensen’s forehead, his cheek. “No. I’m with you.” He moved towards Jensen’s lips, and Jensen pulled away again, breath coming even more heavily, face flushed.
“Are you sure?” he breathed. He looked up at Jared, eyes like green flame, and Jared almost couldn’t keep up with the pace his heart was setting. “I won’t be able to stop.”
“I don’t want you to.”
****
Jared reached over Jensen for the alarm clock, making sure it was already turned off, and then pulled the sheets up higher. When he woke again, the first thing he saw was the green of Jensen’s eyes. It was Thursday.