so i can still control most of my thoughts at this point. still maintain my average level of decency and control. i didnt even chew through her arm. i however need to know some things. i need knowledge perhaps before she leaves. relevant information for any further investigation and experiences as a human. she may be the only one capable of giving ( Read more... )

phillip says jump. phillip says fall. phillip says sleeping when were dead just isnt enough. not enough sleep and not enough time for some of these people. wishes he did. sits here and stares into the hawaiian sunset with his umbrella drink and monkey barkeep. good old monkey. im always here too. one reason or another. watching the door and ( Read more... )

i have a little hope tossed back into safe keeping again. maybe enough to last for a month or two.i welcome christmas with all my being.

fuck me? fuck me? really? that is entirely not fair. congratulations. that almost brought tears to my eyes. almost. i cannot believe how shallow, impaired, or narrow someones vision can be. I can do nothing but care. i care because i should. not because of any incentive. there is no reason for me to do anything i do. fuck me. honestly. thanks. ( Read more... )

so for some reason i laughed. i laughed so hard in my mind. such a mean and cold laugh. it was not amused. it was not felt. it came from deep deep within tho. it was so fucking satisfying. and gone again. quick as that shit bubbled to the surface of my mind it drained again. back to stone face and brain. not sure if i should have felt that. why i ( Read more... )

i do understand. i so very much understand this life. yes i am irrelevant. even unnecessary most of the time. so often i find myself behind the situation. removed from it. barely there on the edge of anything. and i know why. standing looking in and waiting. it all feels so far gone. here or there. drunk or sober. it is all the same hazy denial and ( Read more... )

dear gods. when blessing my skull with infinite stupidity, you did not also supply me with enough change for infinite candy and sweets to keep my body going with my mind, or vice versa. whichever runs which at this point. for my eyes want to pop, and my kidneys wish to fail to induce coma. perhaps preston and ridalin are the best choice for future ( Read more... )

so who remembers what a happy post looks like? I dont. sleep now or forever hold your pieces. the gods do tend to wander these days. by the by saying little or nothing. im floating. passing away through this place. i hope i dont keep falling. center of the earth is warm. i rather like the winter. and waking up numb from the cold. not lack of blood ( Read more... )

slight insomnia? dead tired in the least. tearing down to build up. quickest fix is happy juice. shits too damn expensive tho. too much to say without a mouth. not many ears around either. hope is an ungodly sin. remembering this is the key to pain. key to a still sleep too maybe. less i need less there is less of me. zeros out the point. numb and ( Read more... )

bad phillip. bad phillip. indeed. fuckles.