The Thief Bride - Chapter 4
Title: The Thief Bride
Author: Starfire AKA ToketsuPuurin
Summary: A very bizzare parody that resulted from lack of sleep and strange LJ conversations.
Continuity: Pfffft! Sheeyah-right.
Pairing: Selina/Bruce
Rating: G-PG
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
They had been sailing for a good part of the night, and after Nigma's scream, the majority had been in silence. Every once in a while the swordsman would glance over his shoulder and peer back at their wake.
"We'll reach the cliffs by dawn." Nigma announced with satisfaction. "...Why are you doing that?"
"Are you sure nobody's following us?"
"That would be inconceivable."
Selina had awoken from the stunning blow more than an hour ago, and the entire time she had been carefully working at the ropes with her claws. "Despite what you think, you will be caught. And when you are, the prince will see you all hanged."
"Of all the necks on this boat, Highness, the one you should be worrying about is your own." Nigma announced. He paused for a moment before glancing over at the swordsman again. "Stop doing that! We can all relax, it's almost over."
"You are sure nobody's following us?"
"As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways, inconceivable. No one in Metropolis knows what we've done, and no one in Gotham could've gotten here so fast." He turned away as he waved off the concern and then paused. "Out of curiosity, why do you ask?"
"No reason. Suddenly, I just happened to look behind us and something is there." Nigma and clark both dashed to the back of the boat to get a closer look at this disturbing phenomena.
The man in green frowned for a moment and said in a voice that tried to hard to be flippantly casual, "Probably some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night...through starro-infested waters."
Selina took the moment of their distraction to pull her hands and feet free from the shredded bonds and dive overboard. The three men spun around at the large splash her entry into the water had made.
Nigma gaped in horror and spun on the swordsman and the giant. "Wha-wh-Go in! Get after her!"
"I don't swim."
"I only dog paddle."
Nigma screamed in impotent frustration, "VEER LEFT!"
The boat turned a bit toward the starboard. "LEFT! LEFT!"
Selina smirked slightly as she began to swim away from the boat and toward the other ship. She hated swimming, but she was certain that she could last long enough to make it to the fisherman's boat. She was so intent upon escape she didn't even notice the low keening sound that had begun to echo over the water.
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SOUND IS, HIGHNESS?" Nigma was shouting at her from the boat, "THOSE ARE THE SHRIEKING STARROS. IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, JUST WAIT! THEY ALWAYS GROW LOUDER WHEN THEY'RE ABOUT TO FEED ON HUMAN BRAINS."
Selina froze for a moment, before beginning to tread water. The unearthly cries were indeed beginning to grow louder and more threatening.
"IF YOU SWIM BACK NOW, I PROMISE, NO HARM WILL COME TO YOU. I DOUBT YOU'LL GET SUCH AN OFFER FROM THE STARROS." Selina let out a gasp as a large creature brushed against her boot.
(Don't worry. I'm not going to let her get eaten. You were looking a little worried there... or was that pain?)
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SOUND IS, HIGHNESS?" Nigma was shouting at her from the boat, "THOSE ARE THE SHRIEKING STARROS.
(What do you mean I did that alre- I guess I did do that already. sorry about that... let me see. She's in the water, the starro's coming after her, she gets scared, the starro charges... and then--)
Clark reached into the water and plucked her from it like a waterlogged cat. Nigma fretted over her just a bit. "Put her down, just put her down."
The swordsman glanced over his shoulder yet again. "I think he's getting closer."
"HE'S NO CONCERN OF OURS. SAIL ON!" ordered Nigma as he began to bind Selina's hands yet again.
"I suppose you think you're brave, don't you?" He snapped at her.
She glared at him through slitted eyes. "Only compared to some."
Several hours later dawn broke to find them nearing the shore of Metropolis. The swordsman, who had given up looking over his shoulder, risked a glance back.
"Look! He's right on top of us... I wonder if he's using the same wind we are using."
Nigma cackled. "WHOEVER HE IS, HE'S TOO LATE. SEE? THE CLIFFS OF INSANITY!" The next few moments were spent docking the boat at a shallow cove of beach at the base of an enormous cliff-face. Nigma barked orders right and left, rushing them through the setup of an unusual harness that they wrapped around Clark.
To Nigma's cries of "Move that thing" and "Move that other thing" and of course "Hurry up" They managed to slip themselves into the slings wrapped around Clark so that he could easilly carry their weight without being hampered by them.
"We're safe." Nigma announced. "Only Clark is strong enough to go up our way. He'll have to sail around for hours till he finds a harbor."
Notes: Woohoo! that was fun! Yes, I removed Clark's ability to fly. and I'll probably have to take away a few other abilities too. He's the best fit I could find, but Superman's just WAY TOO STRONG for this situation.
Author: Starfire AKA ToketsuPuurin
Summary: A very bizzare parody that resulted from lack of sleep and strange LJ conversations.
Continuity: Pfffft! Sheeyah-right.
Pairing: Selina/Bruce
Rating: G-PG
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
They had been sailing for a good part of the night, and after Nigma's scream, the majority had been in silence. Every once in a while the swordsman would glance over his shoulder and peer back at their wake.
"We'll reach the cliffs by dawn." Nigma announced with satisfaction. "...Why are you doing that?"
"Are you sure nobody's following us?"
"That would be inconceivable."
Selina had awoken from the stunning blow more than an hour ago, and the entire time she had been carefully working at the ropes with her claws. "Despite what you think, you will be caught. And when you are, the prince will see you all hanged."
"Of all the necks on this boat, Highness, the one you should be worrying about is your own." Nigma announced. He paused for a moment before glancing over at the swordsman again. "Stop doing that! We can all relax, it's almost over."
"You are sure nobody's following us?"
"As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways, inconceivable. No one in Metropolis knows what we've done, and no one in Gotham could've gotten here so fast." He turned away as he waved off the concern and then paused. "Out of curiosity, why do you ask?"
"No reason. Suddenly, I just happened to look behind us and something is there." Nigma and clark both dashed to the back of the boat to get a closer look at this disturbing phenomena.
The man in green frowned for a moment and said in a voice that tried to hard to be flippantly casual, "Probably some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night...through starro-infested waters."
Selina took the moment of their distraction to pull her hands and feet free from the shredded bonds and dive overboard. The three men spun around at the large splash her entry into the water had made.
Nigma gaped in horror and spun on the swordsman and the giant. "Wha-wh-Go in! Get after her!"
"I don't swim."
"I only dog paddle."
Nigma screamed in impotent frustration, "VEER LEFT!"
The boat turned a bit toward the starboard. "LEFT! LEFT!"
Selina smirked slightly as she began to swim away from the boat and toward the other ship. She hated swimming, but she was certain that she could last long enough to make it to the fisherman's boat. She was so intent upon escape she didn't even notice the low keening sound that had begun to echo over the water.
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SOUND IS, HIGHNESS?" Nigma was shouting at her from the boat, "THOSE ARE THE SHRIEKING STARROS. IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, JUST WAIT! THEY ALWAYS GROW LOUDER WHEN THEY'RE ABOUT TO FEED ON HUMAN BRAINS."
Selina froze for a moment, before beginning to tread water. The unearthly cries were indeed beginning to grow louder and more threatening.
"IF YOU SWIM BACK NOW, I PROMISE, NO HARM WILL COME TO YOU. I DOUBT YOU'LL GET SUCH AN OFFER FROM THE STARROS." Selina let out a gasp as a large creature brushed against her boot.
(Don't worry. I'm not going to let her get eaten. You were looking a little worried there... or was that pain?)
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SOUND IS, HIGHNESS?" Nigma was shouting at her from the boat, "THOSE ARE THE SHRIEKING STARROS.
(What do you mean I did that alre- I guess I did do that already. sorry about that... let me see. She's in the water, the starro's coming after her, she gets scared, the starro charges... and then--)
Clark reached into the water and plucked her from it like a waterlogged cat. Nigma fretted over her just a bit. "Put her down, just put her down."
The swordsman glanced over his shoulder yet again. "I think he's getting closer."
"HE'S NO CONCERN OF OURS. SAIL ON!" ordered Nigma as he began to bind Selina's hands yet again.
"I suppose you think you're brave, don't you?" He snapped at her.
She glared at him through slitted eyes. "Only compared to some."
Several hours later dawn broke to find them nearing the shore of Metropolis. The swordsman, who had given up looking over his shoulder, risked a glance back.
"Look! He's right on top of us... I wonder if he's using the same wind we are using."
Nigma cackled. "WHOEVER HE IS, HE'S TOO LATE. SEE? THE CLIFFS OF INSANITY!" The next few moments were spent docking the boat at a shallow cove of beach at the base of an enormous cliff-face. Nigma barked orders right and left, rushing them through the setup of an unusual harness that they wrapped around Clark.
To Nigma's cries of "Move that thing" and "Move that other thing" and of course "Hurry up" They managed to slip themselves into the slings wrapped around Clark so that he could easilly carry their weight without being hampered by them.
"We're safe." Nigma announced. "Only Clark is strong enough to go up our way. He'll have to sail around for hours till he finds a harbor."
Notes: Woohoo! that was fun! Yes, I removed Clark's ability to fly. and I'll probably have to take away a few other abilities too. He's the best fit I could find, but Superman's just WAY TOO STRONG for this situation.