And the way that some songs will never ever be your own again.

It's taking everything I have to not scream my head off, so I put it here, where no one will see. Unless.

But I love you.

The stunning way your words still cut through me; a punch straight to the heart.

I got no distance left to run.

Did you know that I am a Mess? Because.

The worst of pains and shames. Eternally heartbroken, perpetually defeated, always trying to pick up the pieces. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep doing this to you.

And now time is my time time is my own
And I feel so alive yet feel so alone
Cause you know you're the one and that that hasn't changed

It's sort of like breaking up with an entire life.

Depression 2010: stay out drinking til 2am five nights a week, up for work at 7, lonely but social, loudly and actively lost.

Depression 2011: pajamas at 6:05, asleep with Xbox controller in hand at 9:30, "work", lonely but apathetic and unmotivated.

Upgrade/downgrade?