Well... I realized that I've said some rude shit in here about ppl. And it comes back at me. REMEMBER: Journals are full of raw shit that ppl say but don't mean. Like I've said some pretty nasty things about Jeff... and I feel bad. I never meant them. I love him and I know that. I should never talk shit on people in my journal, if it's a public ( Read more... )

My mom and counselor won't let me go back with Jordan when he comes down. =( He wanted me to see how it was down there. I know I'd love it... for goodness sakes... it's fucking Cali man! And he wanted to teach me how to surf and take me around town... I'd actually get to walk on the beach this time. That makes me so sad. I know he'd take care of me ( Read more... )

Well... ALOT has happened since I last updated my journal. I know I was very very upset last time... and to some extent I still am. But Jeff and I are getting along fine. =) I hung out with him all day, and then went to wal-mart (met my mom up there), got some stuff for my halloween costume... because I am so anxious for halloween. My friend, ( Read more... )

Yea... my dumbass dropped out today. By I'm going to take this six month program where I can still get my high school diploma. I feel bad about dropping out... but at the same time, at least I got away from that fucking school! Jeff started going out with Dawn now. STUPID FUCKER! Dawn's 24, has two kids, is still married and lives in missouri. I ( Read more... )

Sorry I haven't updated for a while. Been busy... hanging out with Jeff... and then him and Dawn this weekend. =( I need something to help me feel better right now... I don't know what. Maybe just someone to cuddle with. To not act like I don't exist. =( Someone to actually care. I'm just not so happy right now.

Well... I haven't talked to my dad since, that day he called me. =( Sucks... oh well... it happens. Not like I'm the only person this has happened to. Anywho... lots of things have happened. I finally got to meet my friend Jamie this last weekend. He doesn't even live that far away. He's cute. ^.^ What sucks is that he has a kid... but he's single ( Read more... )

Well, my dad called today... that's the first time I've talked to him since I was 8. It's weird. I almost cried, I was so happy. My mom made me get off the fone... I kept telling her that it was a friend. And she realized it was my dad. She yelled at me about it too. She doesn't want me to have contact with my dad... period. It's sad... she bitched ( Read more... )

I did it. I broke Tim's heart... and I really feel like shit. I cried when I did it. I didn't mean to... and he kept telling me not to cry. And that if I'm happy then he's happy. Although he said he felt like shit. I felt like shit for having to make a choice. After I did it... what made me feel worse... is when he told me how much he liked me. =( ( Read more... )

This really sucks. Nick likes me. And this guy named Tim likes me. Tim asked me out and I said I'd think about it. But the truth is that I really like Nick and I don't know what to do. *cries* I have to tell Tim tonite that I can only be friends with him. I can't keep on doing what I'm doing. I feel so stupid and confused. I've never had more than ( Read more... )

Last night was good... I got to see Nick. But he was being a little spacious for a while because he's sick. But after a while Katie, my brother, Nick and I watched a movie together. But I had already seen the movie before... let alone I wasn't paying attention to it anyway. I was too busy getting stared at while lying in someone's lap. And I did ( Read more... )