Let The Walls Come Down
Title: Let the Walls Come Down
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Gabe/Ian
Warning: flashbacks and discussion of past rape
Summary: Gabe finally tells Ian exactly what happened to him
AN: Thanks to crashdownpixie for continuing to be a fast and efficient beta and being all around awesome.
Vicious Cycle:
The Only Deal You’ll Find, I’ll Gladly Take Your Soul
Another Night (Wishing I Wasn’t Here
Line In The Sand
Hit the Floor
Sleepless Night
Thick and Thin
“Tell you what, Forrest. You use that mouth for something worthwhile for once and I won’t tell Archer you’re gay.”
No please.
“Blow me or I’ll duct tape you naked to the flagpole with a big sign that will tell everyone how much you want to suck Archer’s cock.”
Don’t, please.
“If you try and call for help, you’ll really regret it.”
Don’t…
Cruel fingers in his hair…gagging…choking…too much
Someone help
Gabe sprang awake with a cry of fear. His heart was beating so hard in his chest he thought it might explode. He gasped for breathe, trying to calm himself and quell the tears that were filling his eyes. A sob tore itself from the back of his throat and the tears fell as he pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his head.
“Gabe?” Ian asked sleepily.
Not having the voice to answer, Gabe just sobbed again. Weak, pathetic Gabe, always sobbing, he thought to himself. He couldn’t stand up for himself to Ray and he couldn’t handle a stupid nightmare without crying like a baby. It was no wonder Ray had targeted him.
“Hey, are you okay?” Ian’s voice was closer the second time and Gabe whimpered at having anyone so close to him.
“G-go back t-to sleep,” Gabe said.
“No, hey, c’mon,” Ian said softly and the next thing Gabe knew strong arms were around him.
It should have been terrifying, given the subject of his nightmare. Instead, he felt like he was suddenly in the safest place in the world. He curled into Ian’s warmth and just let himself sob out his fear and hurt. He felt one of Ian’s strong hands rubbing his back soothingly, while the other carded through his hair and Gabe just held on.
Gabe cried for an embarrassing long time before he was finally able to get control of himself. He didn’t pull out of Ian’s embrace, even as his sobs died down to sniffles. Something warm curled in his belly as he felt Ian press a kiss to his temple and continued to hold him, apparently not bothered by the fact his shirt was soaked in tears and snot.
“Gabe,” Ian said softly. “Now, will you tell me what Ray did to you?”
Gabe sniffled and shook his head against Ian’s shoulder. That was the last thing he wanted anyone to know about. He didn’t even want Headmaster to know, despite the fact that it meant Ray never got formally punished for it. It was the single most embarrassing and demeaning incident of his life.
“Please, Gabe, this is killing me,” Ian said.
Gabe shook his head and felt tears fill his eyes again.
“Hey,” Ian said softly, turning his head to nudge his nose against Gabe’s temple until the other boy finally lifted his head. “I don’t know what happened to you, but I won’t judge you for it… or think any less of you.”
“You say that now,” Gabe replied without thinking. He cursed his inability to keep his mouth shut.
Ian leaned down so that their foreheads touched. “Gabe, there’s nothing you could tell me that would make me hate you.”
Gabe shivered, feeling terribly exposed with Ian so close. He closed his eyes, unable to keep looking into Ian’s earnest gaze. He was taken completely by surprise when he a felt a gentle, warm pressure against his lips followed by an electric shock down his spine. His eyes snapped open and then widened to find Ian kissing him.
Then, Ian seemed to realize what he was doing and he jerked away. Before Gabe realized it, Ian was off the bed and pacing. Gabe curled into himself again, leaning against the headboard, terrified that something bad had just happened, despite how good it had felt.
“Shit, Gabe, I’m sorry,” Ian said, pacing nervously. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
Gabe swallowed hard, “I, um, I didn’t mind. I mean, it would have been nice for it to happen in a better situation, y’know, when I haven’t been sobbing like a baby on your shoulder and--.”
“Gabe,” Ian cut him off gently. “That’s exactly why I shouldn’t have done that.”
“But, I mean, y-you wanted to, right?”
Gabe winced as soon as he said it and buried his head in his knees. As soon as Ian found out what he had done to Ray, he would want nothing to do with Gabe. He was unclean, soiled by choosing to blow Ray instead of just dealing with the humiliation of being duct taped to the flagpole.
“Hey,” Ian said, right by Gabe’s bed again. “I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t want to, Gabe. It’s just, with you being upset; it wasn’t the right time for it.”
“Yeah, sure,” Gabe mumbled.
“I’m at the breaking point here,” Ian said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “If you don’t tell me what happened, I’m going to go beat it out of Ray.”
Gabe’s head snapped up. “No!”
“Gabe--.”
“You can’t just go around beating information out of people,” Gabe argued. “You’re not that guy, Ian. Don’t turn into that guy.”
Ian sighed and dropped his head into his hands. “You’re making it impossible not to be that guy. I need answers and you won’t tell me.”
“There’s nothing you can do about it, Ian. Even if-Even if I tell you what he did, it won’t change anything,” Gabe replied. Except for how you see me, he thought to himself.
“It’s as much for me as it is for you,” Ian insisted. “This is eating you alive, dude. You’ve been having nightmares every night and I can’t stand not knowing what’s hurt you so much.”
Gabe laughed bitterly. “Trust me to find the stubborn softie for a roommate.”
“Gabe,” Ian said with a plea in his voice.
“Fine,” Gabe relented. He scooted so that he was further away from Ian. “But, um, just understand that I-I didn’t think that you…well, just…”
“Gabe, seriously, I won’t judge you.”
Gabe nodded, let out a shaky breath, and began to talk. He started the story from working in the library, to the cafeteria, to the events in the showers. His voice cracked a few times and, by the time he got to the point where Ray gave him the choice between blowing him or being taped to the flagpole, he started to cry again. When he finished his story, he moved to get up, but Ian grabbed him before he could actually move.
“Are you telling me that Ray basically raped you and you didn’t tell anyone?” Ian demanded.
Gabe shrank a little at the anger he saw on Ian’s face. “I didn’t want anyone to know.”
“That asshole needs to be prosecuted,” Ian went on. “You have to tell Headmaster.”
“No way,” Gabe argued. “I didn’t even want to tell you, what makes you think I want the Headmaster to know? Oh, poor, weak Gabriel Forrest, can’t take care of himself. The whole school would know.”
“You can’t just let this go,” Ian insisted.
“It’s my choice to make,” Gabe replied. “If you care about me, you’ll respect my choice.”
Ian visibly deflated and Gabe relaxed a little. “I’ll respect your choice not to tell Headmaster.”
“Thank you.”
“And I don’t think any less of you, Gabe,” Ian said. “I think Ray took advantage of you and gave you two choices with equally undesirable outcomes. I don’t think that makes you weak, or dirty, or anything else you might be thinking about yourself.”
Tears welled in Gabe’s eyes for the third time that night. “I am weak and dirty.”
“No,” Ian said and slid closer to Gabe on the bed. “You’re a victim.”
Gabe allowed Ian to pull him into another hug. He held on tight and thanked his lucky stars that he managed to find someone like Ian.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Gabe/Ian
Warning: flashbacks and discussion of past rape
Summary: Gabe finally tells Ian exactly what happened to him
AN: Thanks to crashdownpixie for continuing to be a fast and efficient beta and being all around awesome.
Vicious Cycle:
The Only Deal You’ll Find, I’ll Gladly Take Your Soul
Another Night (Wishing I Wasn’t Here
Line In The Sand
Hit the Floor
Sleepless Night
Thick and Thin
“Tell you what, Forrest. You use that mouth for something worthwhile for once and I won’t tell Archer you’re gay.”
No please.
“Blow me or I’ll duct tape you naked to the flagpole with a big sign that will tell everyone how much you want to suck Archer’s cock.”
Don’t, please.
“If you try and call for help, you’ll really regret it.”
Don’t…
Cruel fingers in his hair…gagging…choking…too much
Someone help
Gabe sprang awake with a cry of fear. His heart was beating so hard in his chest he thought it might explode. He gasped for breathe, trying to calm himself and quell the tears that were filling his eyes. A sob tore itself from the back of his throat and the tears fell as he pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his head.
“Gabe?” Ian asked sleepily.
Not having the voice to answer, Gabe just sobbed again. Weak, pathetic Gabe, always sobbing, he thought to himself. He couldn’t stand up for himself to Ray and he couldn’t handle a stupid nightmare without crying like a baby. It was no wonder Ray had targeted him.
“Hey, are you okay?” Ian’s voice was closer the second time and Gabe whimpered at having anyone so close to him.
“G-go back t-to sleep,” Gabe said.
“No, hey, c’mon,” Ian said softly and the next thing Gabe knew strong arms were around him.
It should have been terrifying, given the subject of his nightmare. Instead, he felt like he was suddenly in the safest place in the world. He curled into Ian’s warmth and just let himself sob out his fear and hurt. He felt one of Ian’s strong hands rubbing his back soothingly, while the other carded through his hair and Gabe just held on.
Gabe cried for an embarrassing long time before he was finally able to get control of himself. He didn’t pull out of Ian’s embrace, even as his sobs died down to sniffles. Something warm curled in his belly as he felt Ian press a kiss to his temple and continued to hold him, apparently not bothered by the fact his shirt was soaked in tears and snot.
“Gabe,” Ian said softly. “Now, will you tell me what Ray did to you?”
Gabe sniffled and shook his head against Ian’s shoulder. That was the last thing he wanted anyone to know about. He didn’t even want Headmaster to know, despite the fact that it meant Ray never got formally punished for it. It was the single most embarrassing and demeaning incident of his life.
“Please, Gabe, this is killing me,” Ian said.
Gabe shook his head and felt tears fill his eyes again.
“Hey,” Ian said softly, turning his head to nudge his nose against Gabe’s temple until the other boy finally lifted his head. “I don’t know what happened to you, but I won’t judge you for it… or think any less of you.”
“You say that now,” Gabe replied without thinking. He cursed his inability to keep his mouth shut.
Ian leaned down so that their foreheads touched. “Gabe, there’s nothing you could tell me that would make me hate you.”
Gabe shivered, feeling terribly exposed with Ian so close. He closed his eyes, unable to keep looking into Ian’s earnest gaze. He was taken completely by surprise when he a felt a gentle, warm pressure against his lips followed by an electric shock down his spine. His eyes snapped open and then widened to find Ian kissing him.
Then, Ian seemed to realize what he was doing and he jerked away. Before Gabe realized it, Ian was off the bed and pacing. Gabe curled into himself again, leaning against the headboard, terrified that something bad had just happened, despite how good it had felt.
“Shit, Gabe, I’m sorry,” Ian said, pacing nervously. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
Gabe swallowed hard, “I, um, I didn’t mind. I mean, it would have been nice for it to happen in a better situation, y’know, when I haven’t been sobbing like a baby on your shoulder and--.”
“Gabe,” Ian cut him off gently. “That’s exactly why I shouldn’t have done that.”
“But, I mean, y-you wanted to, right?”
Gabe winced as soon as he said it and buried his head in his knees. As soon as Ian found out what he had done to Ray, he would want nothing to do with Gabe. He was unclean, soiled by choosing to blow Ray instead of just dealing with the humiliation of being duct taped to the flagpole.
“Hey,” Ian said, right by Gabe’s bed again. “I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t want to, Gabe. It’s just, with you being upset; it wasn’t the right time for it.”
“Yeah, sure,” Gabe mumbled.
“I’m at the breaking point here,” Ian said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “If you don’t tell me what happened, I’m going to go beat it out of Ray.”
Gabe’s head snapped up. “No!”
“Gabe--.”
“You can’t just go around beating information out of people,” Gabe argued. “You’re not that guy, Ian. Don’t turn into that guy.”
Ian sighed and dropped his head into his hands. “You’re making it impossible not to be that guy. I need answers and you won’t tell me.”
“There’s nothing you can do about it, Ian. Even if-Even if I tell you what he did, it won’t change anything,” Gabe replied. Except for how you see me, he thought to himself.
“It’s as much for me as it is for you,” Ian insisted. “This is eating you alive, dude. You’ve been having nightmares every night and I can’t stand not knowing what’s hurt you so much.”
Gabe laughed bitterly. “Trust me to find the stubborn softie for a roommate.”
“Gabe,” Ian said with a plea in his voice.
“Fine,” Gabe relented. He scooted so that he was further away from Ian. “But, um, just understand that I-I didn’t think that you…well, just…”
“Gabe, seriously, I won’t judge you.”
Gabe nodded, let out a shaky breath, and began to talk. He started the story from working in the library, to the cafeteria, to the events in the showers. His voice cracked a few times and, by the time he got to the point where Ray gave him the choice between blowing him or being taped to the flagpole, he started to cry again. When he finished his story, he moved to get up, but Ian grabbed him before he could actually move.
“Are you telling me that Ray basically raped you and you didn’t tell anyone?” Ian demanded.
Gabe shrank a little at the anger he saw on Ian’s face. “I didn’t want anyone to know.”
“That asshole needs to be prosecuted,” Ian went on. “You have to tell Headmaster.”
“No way,” Gabe argued. “I didn’t even want to tell you, what makes you think I want the Headmaster to know? Oh, poor, weak Gabriel Forrest, can’t take care of himself. The whole school would know.”
“You can’t just let this go,” Ian insisted.
“It’s my choice to make,” Gabe replied. “If you care about me, you’ll respect my choice.”
Ian visibly deflated and Gabe relaxed a little. “I’ll respect your choice not to tell Headmaster.”
“Thank you.”
“And I don’t think any less of you, Gabe,” Ian said. “I think Ray took advantage of you and gave you two choices with equally undesirable outcomes. I don’t think that makes you weak, or dirty, or anything else you might be thinking about yourself.”
Tears welled in Gabe’s eyes for the third time that night. “I am weak and dirty.”
“No,” Ian said and slid closer to Gabe on the bed. “You’re a victim.”
Gabe allowed Ian to pull him into another hug. He held on tight and thanked his lucky stars that he managed to find someone like Ian.