so i feel like ive been on the verge of tears for a couple days now. like, for no reason at all, my sinuses will start to flood like i want to cry, but i stop...because theres really no reason...i feel like something is wrong with me. like maybe ive been smoking too much marijuana, although it hasnt been long enough for withdrawl to kick in. ( Read more... )

how did so much emotion leak into such a hopeless circumstance? where did i fall from, my feet were still on the ground. what do you do when you find out your hopes and dreams have become your worst nightmare?

it's been a while since i've felt this way. i recently broke up with my girlfriend of a year, although that's not what's bothering me- rather, that was ultimately liberating. all summer has been "blah" because i just don't have anything to look forward to in the immediate future. i mean, hell yeah im home for the summer and living it up. and ( Read more... )

when are you going to stop talking about calling me and call me, huh? 8 ( Read more... )

i'm watching this movie "Duck Season." it's in spanish, and the english subtitles aren't working...so its a little tough to follow. but theres this girl, and im in love with her. the idea of her of course. its like this recurring role ive found in a few different movies and books. the kind of subtle, elegant beauty, with a fiery, deep ( Read more... )

I want to put into words my thoughts on "religion," so to speak. This older woman came in the store today and actually asked me, "When you're standing in front of the Gates of Heaven and God asks you, why you deserve to get in, what will you say?" I told her God should know why I deserve to get in. But seriously, I'm grateful she exposed me to a ( Read more... )

I called GMU today to verify my application status. I should hear in a couple weeks. I feel like it's my calling. I can't wait to get involved. I want to get involved in politics. I think I'd like to get into journalism.

What's the deepest question you can think of? "What's the meaning of life?" I just finished watching City of God. Good ( Read more... )

i had this dream the other night i almost forgot about. i was somewhere in the country, i think it was supposed to be my family cottage, only it wasnt the same. i'm outside and the sky turns ablaze, like a storm's coming in. the clouds get really dark and start to swirl around, and all i can think is how amazing and beautiful it looks. sometime ( Read more... )

I got a couple of messages on my myspace music name Tristis Ultra. i made up this bullshit name so i could put a couple of acoustic songs i wrote on my page. well i got this email asking if my band wants to participate in a music festival. www.emergenza.net seems legit enough, but I have my doubts. fuck it I signed us up. us...yeah about that ( Read more... )

at the end of the movie Payback, he's got the girl, $130,000, and a car, and he says, "Just drive." that's perfect. that's what I want.

so now to live a life of crime in the syndicate, rob a few people, kill a few people, and all my dreams will come true...