I love spring. Everyone is miserable with allergies, the white folk come out of hibernation to odyssey to Panera Bread, the crime rate goes up. The grass looks so tempting in the sun, the chipmunks darting about bright-eyed, but do not sit upon it, noble audience, for it is treacherous and it is wet and it will deliver unto your ass great ( Read more... )

"I has sour gummy worms."
"The red and blue ones are my favorites."
"You're my favorite! I mean... my bra strap just fell down."

"I definitely just ate a hair."

"Even when I was little I knew I was ugly."

"Oh, my eye isn't bloodshot, I just burst a blood vessel ( Read more... )

Roland Royal sent a request using Bless You:

Roland Royal blessed you! Don't you think Roland Royal deserves a blessing in return?

Thou art not thyself;
For thou exist'st on many a thousand grains
That issue out of dust.


( Read more... )

( Read more... )

"It has been found that the parasite has the ability to change the behavior of its host: infected rats and mice are less fearful of cats - in fact, some of the infected rats seek out cat-urine-marked areas. This effect is advantageous to the parasite, which will be able to sexually reproduce if its host is eaten by a cat.TOXOPLASMOSIS IS SERIOUS ( Read more... )

...I thought I had to get up at 10 tomorrow, but I don't have to get up until 3. -blissful sigh-

Exclusive inside jokes:
"Haha, feet! Hahahaha, hehehehe." - Aaron
"IT'S A BLUE WHALE, NOT A SPERM WHALE."
"A handle?" - Ben ( Read more... )

A customer says, "Good evening, I am looking for a book about the food that is prepared and served in the dining cars of passenger railroad trains. Can you help me ( Read more... )